3.	>"I'LL PAY YOU 800 BITS TO TAKE MY VIRGINITY!"
4.	>you are Anon
5.	>and Moondancer has just offered you 800 bits to make her a mare
6.	>No problem
7.	>"First stop, the bookstore."
8.	"W-what? I've studied how to do this for weeks!"
9.	>"Nope, just pick something out you'll enjoy reading. I'll grab something too."
10.	>she blushes when you get "The Horn-Polisher"
11.	>"Next stop? The spa. Deluxe package for two, 100 bits each."
12.	"Spa? What? What does mas-hahhhhhh"
13.	>"Relax the pony."
14.	>They actually need an extra half-hour to get all the mane knots out
15.	>Then the mineral bath in hot, bubbling water
16.	>They had to change the water when the drain got clogged with loose mane hairs
17.	>shampoo, rinse, conditioner, rinse
18.	>a good brisk currying
19.	>for her, you got oiled up and strigil'd
20.	>fuck yeah, Cloudsdale Method
21.	>cooling down with a good book in your hands/aura
22.	"Y-you look good, Anon. Why'd you spend half the bits on me?"
23.	>"It was worth it." And I wasn't touching her without a professional cleaning first.
24.	*blushing pony noises*
25.	>You got the goddamn sweater dry-cleaned too
26.	>"Now, we'll just get you home...ooh! Chocolate cake with candied violets. I'll take one of those."
27.	"Hey! This isn't the way to my house."
28.	>"That's right. We're using my place."
29.	>satin sheets
30.	>lots of fluffy pillows
31.	>"Now, come here my little virgin..."
32.	>You pick up Moondancer and lay her on the bed
33.	>"These things must be done properly, no?"
34.	>The curtains are drawn, leaving the bedroom dimly lit
35.	>slowly, you lay your hands upon Moondancer
36.	>and take her, slowly and masterfully
37.	>your fingers turn her ears into twitching pony puddles
38.	>moans as you roll her over and run your hands across her silken belly
39.	>full-bodied, sensous snugglings
40.	>her tongue is hanging halfway out of her mouth and spots of drool spackle the sheets
41.	>"How do you feel, Moondancer?"
42.	"I've...I've never felt so...loved. I feel like, like~"
43.	>"A mare. I do not take fillies. I make them into the mare I see under the blushes and stutters..."
44.	>"...and then I take what is ready to give."
45.	>kissing a pony isn't quite the same as a human
46.	>they like rubbing noses when they're touching lips
47.	>and it's not like Moondancer's ever really kissed a stallion
48.	>you do it right
49.	>nose against muzzle
50.	>not too much tongue
51.	>ponies have much more dexterous tongues anyway and you don't need to sprain yours trying to keep up
52.	>the belly rubs go...lower this time
53.	>aroused horses always sound a little silly
54.	>the whinnying and snorting they make when you play with their teats
55.	>but she's rubbing her neck against your face
56.	>and thanks to the spa, she smells really nice
57.	>so you nibble on that too
58.	*SQUEAL*
59.	>you never thought you'd grow up to have horny ponies on your lap
60.	>then again, most human women would have taken you getting naked in your own house a lot less easily than ponies did
61.	>you always worked better without any clothes on
62.	>and most ponies find bare skin exotic
63.	"Ohhhhhh...."
64.	>and there's the first trickles
65.	>mares rarely have dryness problems
66.	>and you always need to change the sheets with each client
67.	>lower...
68.	"Oh...Anon! I...I did that to your bed!"
69.	>"That just means you did what a mare is supposed to do when someone's loving her."
70.	>Moondancer is a very warm pony in your lap at the moment.
71.	>She gets warmer when you cover your fingers in that lovely mare juice and give the source a good rubbing
72.	>ponies are built a little less sensitive down there
73.	"A-ahn!"
74.	>but once you get them started
75.	"Ahhhhhhhhn!" *splurt*
76.	>they just keep going
77.	"AH! AH! OH!"
78.	>and going
79.	"~ooooooohh..."
80.	>OK, maybe Moondancer's a little out of shape compared to most mares
81.	>still, goofy cutie O-face with those eyebrows wiggling
82.	>plus having chubby pony plot rubbing your crotch feels really nice
83.	>a few more kisses on the neck and ears
84.	>"How does my lovely young mare feel?"
85.	"So.....so good...I...this...why don't they write this down?"
86.	>"Humans can be very good for sexual, Moondancer. They don't want to spoil you for stallions, but since you're paying...you're getting spoiled. The best way."
87.	>a nice fluffy pillow to go under a chubby pony belly
88.	>she's in no condition to complain about some help keeping her flanks up
89.	>speaking of flanks, your hands travel amidst the moon and stars
90.	>and that gets her tail up and flagging
91.	>"Moondancer? Still want to go all the way?"
92.	>the spatter of warm, sticky mare across your chest is a pretty good indicator but...
93.	"M-mmmmake me your mare!"
94.	>Yeah, that'll do.
95.	>kneeling behind Moondancer, you get a firm grasp of both flanks
96.	>she's shivering a little, but the winking says that's more lust than fear
97.	>and ever so gently, you take that pony pussy, half an inch at a time until you bump against a hymen
98.	>"Moonie?"
99.	*inarticulate horse noises*
100.	>"I'm going to have to push a few times, and it'll sting a little"
101.	*WHAP*
102.	>tail-in-the-face, occupational hazard of horsefuckers
103.	>keeping Moondancer's flanks firmly in hand (they're nice and squishy), you thrust
104.	*REEEEEE~HE-HE-HE!*
105.	>wow, she BIT THROUGH THE SHEETS
106.	>good thing you had to replace them after this anyway
107.	>and once you're through, there's a spot just past the hymen...
108.	>you wiggle dem flanks, letting your glans find that sweet spot
109.	*GOOSH*
110.	>annnnnd there's the pony G-spot
111.	>red-spotted orange marecum oozes it's way around the death grip Moondancer has on your pecker
112.	>tight, hot, and well lubricated, you just have to keep a slow movement going
113.	>you're giving her a G-spot massage right now, even if it's tougher to do that without a stallion-shaped dick
114.	>and you don't think you could make a mare lose more IQ points in under a minute short of a lobotomy
115.	"D-did you come?"
116.	>"Humans spoil mares, Moondancer."
117.	>tight or not, you slowly fuck her brains out for a half-hour straight before giving her the cooler
118.	>and by that, you mean a load of monkey spunk where it'll do a heated mare the most good
119.	>by that point, she's past screaming and moaning and likely can't move from the neck down
120.	>when you finish, she's gurgling contentedly
121.	>this is disturbingly normal in well-fucked mares
122.	>a warm, damp towel under the tail for the inevitable results
123.	>more cuddles for the come-atose mare
124.	"Sssssoo wurthit."
125.	*SNOOOOOORK*
126.	>out like a light
127.	>fortunately, you booked Moondancer for the night
128.	>she paid double the going rate, after all
129.	>and it's like hugging a body pillow with hooves that go kicky-kicky occasionally with pony dreams
130.	>you spoon the Moon in your torn up sheets
131.	>pull a thin one over the top of you so she doesn't get cold later on
132.	>and doze off, dreaming of chocolate cake for breakfast
133.	 
134.	END.
135.	 
136.	>your name is Moondancer
137.	>and you can't feel your hindquarters
138.	>well, you can but it's all happy-tingly and you might move if the house is on fire
139.	>but only a little
140.	>there's these big arms around you
141.	>and something damp against your tail
142.	>actually feels rather nice
143.	>and this isn't your bed
144.	>normally, you'd want nothing more than to flee anything social and go curl up in your nice safe hovel
145.	>perhaps with something trashy
146.	>heat always leaves you too flustered to read something worth reading anyway
147.	>but not tonight
148.	>there's a nice breeze sneaking in through the curtains
149.	>and you're totally not feeling that tail-lifting itch anymore
150.	>or any of the other usual itches, either
151.	>you've never been this dirty or felt this clean at the same time
152.	>...that might change if you don't find the bathroom
153.	>wiggle out of the giant monkey arms
154.	>get sleepy flank-grabbed
155.	>Anon's bathroom is -huge-
156.	>you almost drop the towel you're holding against your backside in shock
157.	>luckily, the important part has a double seat
158.	>what went in, must go out
159.	>how did so much go in?
160.	>ooh, wet wipes
161.	>aside from the wobble-walk, your first post-coital experience mess has been averted
162.	>thinking about that....
163.	>well, it's worth some more wobble
164.	>suddenly, you feel the anxiety hit you
165.	>this is a strange house
166.	>with a human
167.	>and he probably thinks your his special somepony
168.	>you almost climb out the window
169.	>but it's a long drop to the ground
170.	>better to sneak out the front door before he wakes up
171.	>and so you're halfway past the kitchen table when you see all the papers covering it
172.	>bills
173.	>fines for half a dozen minor social offenses
174.	>damages due for accidental breakages
175.	>I guess being a big guy in a pony-sized world isn't easy
176.	>there's a checkbook
177.	>...aside from the bits you just paid Anon, there's not much else in there
178.	>he's in trouble
179.	>but he's so good!
180.	>*thump* He's behind you, isn't he?
181.	>think fast
182.	>ZIP goes the icebox door
183.	>ZOOM goes the cake
184.	>SLICE goes the knife
185.	>CLATTER CLATTER
186.	>"Did....did you want some dessert?"
187.	"It's three in the morning, Moondancer."
188.	>"Um...I guess that means this is breakfast?"
189.	---
190.	 
191.	>You are Anon
192.	>It is three in the morning
193.	>Clearly, this means it is Cake O Clock
194.	>here, at the kitchen table
195.	>with the mare you were hired by to take her V-card
196.	>a job well done, you might add
197.	>but she looks nervous behind her concealing mask of chocolate icing
198.	"Um, Anon? What do you do when you aren't doing me?"
199.	>Call it stupid-o-clock too
200.	>she's blushing like a furnace
201.	>"Well, whatever odd jobs ponies actually feel like giving to a "hooman" they're scared shitless of."
202.	>"Which isn't much, or often."
203.	>heck, you got that job pulling weeds around where you met Moondancer because the maint ponies thought it smelled too funny
204.	>you can't be choosy
205.	>having everything made special for you in a ponysize world isn't cheap
206.	>you didn't know it smelled so "funny" because there was a reclusive grungymare in heat
207.	>heck, you just thought it was old mare smell or some shit
208.	>getting 800 bits (less expenses) for something out of a bad clopfic?
209.	>manna from heaven
210.	>especially since you usually were the one paying Bunny Bubbles out on the corner for the ol' cuddle slap and tickle
211.	>hey, a frustrated Anon has his needs
212.	>and you made sure Bunny got hers met too
213.	>she gave you a 10-bit-10-minute discount for each time she didn't fake an orgasm
214.	>30 bit discounts happened often
215.	>you were motivated, after all
216.	>that extra half hour of cuddles was better medicine sometimes than the wingjobs
217.	>especially since you seemed cursed to knock shit over or crash into somepony important enough to demand compensation
218.	>it's not like you can find decent weed in Equestria
219.	>but thank Jeebus ponies actually are for sexual
220.	>you are Moondancer
221.	>and you're having a heart-to-heart with Anon
222.	>you think
223.	>he's mumbling something about tripping over ponies
224.	>and something about weed
225.	>around mouthfuls of cake
226.	>it's mostly comprehensible
227.	>I mean, it's really good cock
228.	>I MEAN CAKE
229.	"...and yeah. I mostly make do."
230.	>"But...why?"
231.	"Because ponies are scared of humans."
232.	>"How could anyone be scared?"
233.	>did you just say that, Miss Used To Hide In Your House?
234.	>I mean, Minuette and the girls get you outside once in a while, but you're always a stay-at-home
235.	>especially when you're in heat
236.	>like they are, it's that time in the summer
237.	>Lemon Drops is probably in total grumpy mode right now
238.	>And Minuette is probably bouncing off the walls
239.	>while you're sharing cake with-
240.	>Luna's plentiful plot, with the best cooler in Canterlot and nopony knows it but you
241.	>that little itch just twitched upside your plot
242.	>"Mr. Anon, a pony once told me friendships are the most important thing a pony could have."
243.	>"I'm your friend. And I know just the ponies that would love a human like you."
244.	>After they get the Anon Treatment, that is!
245.	>you are Anon
246.	>And this nerdy little unicorn is meticulously planning on pimping you out
247.	>Apparently, Moondancer likes reading law books when she's in heat
248.	>It's the equivalent of thinking about your naked grandmother when you popped an ill-timed boner
249.	>and she's writing on the back of a past due bill with chocolate icing and a stray feather from Bunny that must have gotten left behind
250.	>Celestia's kicked the sun up for dawn
251.	>she's still scribbling
252.	"OK. Sign here."
253.	>a bit of fudge drips off the end of the feather floating in front of your nose
254.	>along with what appears to be the first contract you've ever seen written with pasty filling
255.	>...damn, she's good at this
256.	>rates, reference bonuses, commissions
257.	>it's the kind of thing there has to be an OCD alicorn of Checklists to bless
258.	>Moondancer finds you jobs
259.	>she gets ten percent + a small commission for each successful referral you get paid for
260.	>no jobs, no pay
261.	>and you get to say no to any job you don't like
262.	>what's a reclusive bookhorse going to do, work you to death getting her neighbors to let you clean their gutters for six bits each?
263.	>you sign the slightly smeary bottom line
264.	>this way, fewer ponies fainting when you knock on the door and ask if they want anything done
265.	>you are Moondancer, on your way home in the early morning
266.	>EEEEEEEEE!
267.	>he signed the contract!
268.	>it's a sweet contract
269.	>not just because you used fudge to write it
270.	>you're Anon's agent now
271.	>it's summer
272.	>and Lemon Drops is coming over for lunch
273.	>normally, you'd kinda be scared
274.	>now, you're excited
275.	>Canterlot is hell for a horny mare
276.	>Guards are no-touchy-allowed and the armor has anti-seduction enchantments built in
277.	>the stallion population is small
278.	>and rich mares like Fluer De Lis shrink the pool even further by contracting stallions like Fancy Pants
279.	>a pony is lucky for a minute-long poke from a bored, stinky stallion
280.	>Anon boned you like a stallion god
281.	>nonchalantly
282.	>you'd be dropping hay around him with no excuse to come back
283.	>except ~you're his agent now~
284.	>and that gives you all the excuses you need until you make your stallion-to-be famous, rich, and utterly grateful
285.	>if you can get the nerve up to ask Anon Superstallion again for...all that
286.	>your tail flips a neat figure-eight just thinking about it
287.	>first, Lemon Drops
288.	>"Hiiiiii, Lemon Drops!"
289.	"Grlglhumph growf..."
290.	>For someone working for the Princess, she's really not all that sunny right now.
291.	>Lunch is leftover cake
292.	>it's cookies that are a sometimes food
293.	>then you say the magic words
294.	>"Dropsy? ~I know a cooler~"
295.	"No wonder I want to pull out your tail."
296.	>Wow, she is REALLY puckering about not getting any!
297.	>"...for two hundred bits for a half hour."
298.	>...her face is so frozen in shock you could call her Lemon Sherbert instead
299.	"T-t--that's not even seven bits a minute! "
300.	>"AND he throws in a post-cuddle afterwards for free."
301.	"You?"
302.	>*happy horse noises and mane tossings*
303.	"Him?"
304.	>*whinnying noises intensifying*
305.	"Me?"
306.	>"He's an exotic cooler."
307.	"Tomorrow night?"
308.	>"I can see if he'll write you in."
309.	"Oh please please please please PLEASE get him to write me in! What is he? A thestral? I hear they're got...endurance..."
310.	>Somepony's been ogling the Night Court again.
311.	>"It'll be a surprise!"
312.	>you are Anon
313.	>And there's a nerdy pony at your door hopping up and down
314.	"Anon! Anon! I found you a job!"
315.	>here comes the gutter cleaning
316.	"Two hundred bits!"
317.	>wait, what?
318.	"Her name's Lemon Drops and she works at the castle and she TOTALLY wants you to do her!"
319.	>Wait, WHAT?
320.	>"Do....what?"
321.	"To do her! Like you did me! Only she's not a virgin. I don't think, anyway."
322.	>"...you know I can say no."
323.	>If they're anything like Moondancer, you're not that desperate for pone or bits right now
324.	>She's giving you eyes behind those taped-up glasses
325.	>Oh shit, she's gonna start crying
326.	>"...yes."
327.	"YES!"
328.	>"...but I can still say no."
329.	"THATSGREATSHELLBEOVERATSIX"
330.	>Apparently, sex changes a mare
331.	>Better clean up the kitchen.
332.	>And maybe buy a cake. Something citrusy.
333.	>...there's a smoke trail heading for Moondancer's house
334.	>too bad, you were going to invite her to go bakery shopping
335.	 
336.	---
337.	 
338.	>you are Moondancer
339.	>and you just dropped a hay bale's worth of spagoots convincing Anon
340.	>but it's happening
341.	>Lemon Hearts co-worker is gonna go visit Anon
342.	>the magics will happen
343.	>and your Anon will be one-hundred eight-four bits richer
344.	>and he'll have years and years studding it up
345.	>all thanks to you
346.	>...they can have his dick, but you've had his cake
347.	>and he buys books
348.	>and likes spas
349.	>you didn't even know you liked spas till Anon
350.	>and he'll be SO grateful
351.	>and then you'll ask him to be your special somepony and live happily ever after
352.	>if this works out, you are gonna have SUCH a story to tell Lemon Hearts over the weekend
353.	>it can't go wrong!
354.	>you are Anon
355.	>and you are incredibly fucking nervous
356.	>there's a lemon vanilla pound cake on the table
357.	>two dishes
358.	>one spoon
359.	>but you can get another one if it gets awkward
360.	>and you've got a supposedly horny mare due to visit in under 5 minutes
361.	>no pressure
362.	>well, except not fapping today
363.	>Moondancer said:
364.	"Well, I won't make you nervous by hanging around all day!"
365.	>you'd have taken friendship with cuddle benefits
366.	>she IS kinda cute even when she's dropping pasta
367.	>mares are weirder things to understand than even human women
368.	>the door!
369.	>Given the color, it has to be Lemon Drops
370.	>definitely that yellow on an earth pony
371.	>that sour expression on her older face, definitely a previous generation to Moonie's
372.	>a mane that's going in almost as many directions as Moondancer's does
373.	>...smells sorta like Pledge
374.	>Her eyes go up...and up...and up...
375.	>"Welcome! Would you like some...cake?"
376.	>You tap the spoon against a plate
377.	 
378.	---
379.	 
380.	>you are Lemon Drops
381.	>and you're not getting any younger
382.	>which doesn't help much in competing for a stallion's attention
383.	>why do you when there's younger mares clamoring for a heat break
384.	>and the ones that will break the bank before they break the heat
385.	>...but there's this stallion
386.	>he's offering you cake
387.	>you like...pound cake
388.	>he pulls you up a chair
389.	>he gets himself a spoonful of cake
390.	>...it's in your mouth
391.	>you're getting spoon fed cake by this "Anon" fellow
392.	>Celestia knows, the next best thing to a good rutting is good cake
393.	>Celestia does eat a lot of cake
394.	>you're going through a generous slice
395.	>and he's running his...hoof? Paw?
396.	>~Hand~ through your mane
397.	>cake and petting and sugar in my lemonade he's massaging my ears with that "hand"
398.	*blissful horse noises*
399.	>you are Anon
400.	>and apparently the cake is a hit
401.	>or the petting
402.	>time for a two-hit combo
403.	>the cake hand comes up
404.	>but there is no spoon
405.	>*boop*
406.	>Lemon Drops' eyes cross as they try and focus on your boop strike and deal with the fingers teasing her ears, all at once
407.	>the jaw drops open as the lights flicker upstairs
408.	>pone.exe has crashed. Adore, Hnnngh, Cuddle?
409.	"Mmmm...mmmmm...Moondancer! Moondancer said you were a really good cooler! Ha, hahaha! Hahhhhhhhnnnmmmm..."
410.	>you get her jaw mostly back in place by rubbing your fingers under her chin
411.	>"Yeah, I'm pretty cool."
412.	>Smooth line, Anon.
413.	"I'm....really feeling hot tonight, Mister Anon. Could you...help a mare out?"
414.	>there's a bag of bits on the table
415.	>and that smell is getting stronger
416.	 
417.	---
418.	 
419.	>you are Lemon Drops
420.	>and it's barely five minutes in and your deodorant is melting clean off your dock
421.	>you're going to start wafting desperate mare all over the apartment in no time
422.	>"Give me a moment. I need to freshen up, it's a long trot from the palace! Ha!"
423.	>you dash into the bathroom
424.	>everything is very...er...proportioned
425.	>you wonder if his equipment matches the equipment in here
426.	>what if he's some overendowed alien that'll split you in two with his monster dick?
427.	>the deodorant gets washed off your tail
428.	>the cold water helps get your head back under control
429.	>you'll head back out there and let that stallion know who's boss in this arrangement
430.	>out the door and-
431.	>there he is
432.	>on the bed
433.	>nothing on as Faust intended a pony to live
434.	>a stalk of grass in his mouth
435.	"I've got this grass stuck in my teeth. Could you...help me get it out?"
436.	>you were a champion jumper in your youth
437.	>you clear the bed in a single mighty leap
438.	>you get that grass out from between his teeth
439.	>with your mouth
440.	>and your tongue
441.	>he's nuzzling you like a pro
442.	>and you feel like the day after your cutie mark when that cute colt got his nose under your tail
443.	>those hands are everywhere
444.	>and cake doesn't even come close
445.	>you are Anon
446.	>and Lemon Drops has gone from sour to sweet
447.	>likely because you have the earth pony sitting on your face
448.	>and she's creaming
449.	>it's sorta foamy as you lick her
450.	>lemon meringue pony pie
451.	>Equestria definitely believes in encouraging oral sex
452.	>she's hanging onto the headboard for dear life
453.	>you're being horse-ridden
454.	>ten minutes later and your palate is cleansed but you're covered in yellow streaks from nose to chin
455.	>she looks down upon you like Moses upon the Promised Land
456.	>her back end slides with nary a hitch to grind against your hips
457.	"Anon? Cake me. I mean, take me!"
458.	>you take yourself firmly in hand and do just that
459.	>she ruts herself silly, surprisingly muscular legs bouncing her up and down on top of your member, the sea of purple drops undulating in the play of muscles
460.	>20 minutes or so in, the bouncing starts to slow
461.	>it's not that rough on you, she's maybe 90 pounds soaking wet
462.	>she's definitely soaking wet right now
463.	>and before she melts down completely, you give her what she came for
464.	>hands, playing with the tuft of chest hair as you let her weakening muscles slowly milk your spunk into her marebox
465.	>Lemon Drops goes boneless as she's boned
466.	>and you're left holding her up as the eyes roll back into her skull and there's nothing but sated mare
467.	>a puddle forms around your balls
468.	>shower definitely in order
469.	>Lemon Drops refuses to let your dick go, however
470.	>this doesn't stop you from picking her impaled self up, leaving a sticky trail into the bathroom and starting the water up
471.	>showering with a sleeping pony riding your dick is a new sensation too
472.	>but the warm water is enough to finally relax her wide enough to free your semi-stiffie
473.	>you sit in the shower with Drops wet pony on wet human
474.	>as you fall asleep with her head on your shoulder, there's a glow on the shower and the water turns off
475.	>a towel floats off the rack and tousels your hair
476.	>and dries you off
477.	>and then you float up with your pony still attached
478.	>WTF, Moondancer?
479.	>you are Moondancer
480.	>and Anon is everything you knew he could be
481.	>you can hear Dropsy getting everything your Anon has to offer
482.	>He's showing off that long-lasting dick trick of his and she's done for
483.	>into the shower they go
484.	>you make sure the water is just right
485.	>finally, her hungry marevag unclamps
486.	>he's stuck with her in the shower
487.	>this does not do for Anon
488.	>you towel him off
489.	>then you lift them both into bed so he can get some cuddle time in, as promised
490.	>funny look he gave you floating by
491.	>clearly, nobody loved Anon like you do
492.	 
493.	---
494.	 
495.	>you are Anon
496.	>and your after-sexing has an assistant
497.	>back to bed without touching the floor
498.	>earth pony blanket sprawled over your chest
499.	>she even fluffed the pillows
500.	>you half expected to find a mint
501.	>but you'll take sleepy pone lover cuddles
502.	>maybe Moondancer will want to pile on?
503.	>...she's gone?
504.	>no, that laughter means she was going
505.	>Girl takes this helping job way too seriously
506.	>you'll talk to her...hrmph....sygnzzz
507.	>when you and Lemon Drops wake up in the morning
508.	>your name is Lemon Drops
509.	>and it's sometime in the morning
510.	>and you're being hugged like a filly's favorite plushy
511.	>and his hand is wet
512.	>you've been licking it in your sleep
513.	>humans have salty skin
514.	>looks funny, tastes great
515.	>...tarts and treacle, it's almost NOT MORNING
516.	>YOU'RE LATE TO WORK
517.	>LEMON HEARTS IS GOING TO HANG YOU FROM THE CHANDELIER
518.	>THERE'S A BANQUET IN TWO HOURS
519.	>you roll out from Anon's grip
520.	>roll back in to smooch him on the cheek
521.	>gallop out the door
522.	>dash back in to toss another bag of bits on the table next to the cake
523.	>gallop out of the apartment building
524.	>you feel ten years younger and ready to take on the world
525.	>or maybe the world speed record to the castle
526.	>leaving a trail of upended ponies, you might just break it
527.	>behind you, you vaguely catch Moondancer waving goodbye
528.	>she is so invited for tea tomorrow
529.	>OH BUCK CABBAGE CART
530.	"MY CABBAGES!"
531.	>*BANG*
532.	>...you'll pay for that later. Onwards!
533.	 
534.	---
535.	 
536.	>you are Anon
537.	>you are waking up to the sound of galloping hooves
538.	>...your hand is covered in pony slobber
539.	>...your cheek is wet
540.	>...you've definitely had worse mornings
541.	>...oh, and Moondancer is at the foot of your bed and smiling at you
542.	>...she has pancakes
543.	>...this earns her an audience
544.	 
545.	---
546.	 
547.	>you are Moondancer
548.	>and last night went fantastic!
549.	>you only had to stay up all night to make sure nothing went wrong or maybe if Anon needed a glass of water or something
550.	>well, that and you like watching him sleep
551.	>you made pancakes
552.	>Anon is pleased
553.	>you want to bounce around the room
554.	>that may be the large amount of coffee talking
555.	"Moonie, I was very surprised last night. I mean, in the middle of THAT?"
556.	>"It had to be perfect! I mean, you're perfect. And nobody appreciated you. But I do! And I know what it's like when nobody appreciates you and there's nobody to be your friend and just-"
557.	>Twilight Sparkle never showing up at your party
558.	>you're kinda really sleepy all of the sudden
559.	>Maybe another bucket of coff-*wobblethud*
560.	>you are Anon
561.	>there is a Moondancer on your floor
562.	>she is ded
563.	>...OK, she's just out cold
564.	>but still, dead to the world
565.	>why is it Moonie goes and does something weird every time you want to go shopping, anyway?
566.	>you gather the snoring little unicorn up and plunk her down in the somewhat grimy sheets
567.	>she gets a corner of them in her mouth and starts chewing on it in her sleep
568.	>well, better that than the pillows
569.	>one of which she's hugging suggestively
570.	>that's it
571.	>you're going out before something inappropriate happens to your bed
572.	>leave a note
573.	>"Moonie: Gone shopping, be back for lunch, try not to eat my sheets ~ Anon"
574.	>note to self: Buy more 4X (for pony) sized sheets for bed
575.	>At least it's easy to find decent pillows
576.	"Mmm, Anon...sooooo soft..."
577.	>We're done here.
578.	>Exit, Stage Front Door
579.	ZZNNNNNNNNNKKKKONK....
580.	>you are Moondancer
581.	>and it's mid-afternoon
582.	>and you're crashed hard on Anon's bed
583.	>deep in your fried brain, Anon is petting you...down there
584.	>you rub against his magical hand
585.	>it's so soft
586.	>you're hugging his chest for dear life, drinking in that alien-yet-stallion scent for all it's worth
587.	>Yes, yes....YE-
588.	>you're in Anon's room
589.	>on his bed
590.	>alone
591.	>and you've humped one of his pillows to shreds
592.	>there's Pegasus down stuck to your marebits
593.	>a dakimakura, it was not
594.	>but ...idea!
595.	>there's that pile of ruined sheets
596.	>you'll take care of those
597.	>have a few pillowcases made
598.	>cuddle pillow plans: made
599.	>see the note
600.	>lunch with Anon?
601.	>lunch FOR Anon.
602.	>what's in the pantry
603.	>noodles, spaghetti, ramen...a stallion after your "quick, boil it and eat it" heart
604.	>ramen it is
605.	>get the sheet stash out to your place
606.	>come back with a few eggs from the icebox back home, cause Anon's kitchen is pasta-products onry right now
607.	>fry em up with your horn and a mostly clean pan
608.	>boil some water
609.	>dump it out cause it looks funny
610.	>boil some more
611.	>doesn't look too funny, clean enough
612.	>ramen
613.	>fried egg on top
614.	>just in time, he's downstairs with some bags
615.	 
616.	---
617.	 
618.	>you are Anon
619.	>and those bangin' bits are going to good use
620.	>groceries
621.	>laundry soap
622.	>duct tape (that chair looks like it needed some more)
623.	>even a little cheap ground from that Griffish deli down Mare Blanc Lane
624.	>ponies just don't into hamburgers
625.	>the scent of fresh food tickles your nostrils
626.	>and there's Moondancer, still looking a little frazzled but with steaming bowls of...
627.	>...well, shit. If there's anyone who's going to know what to do with ramen noodle cheap, it's gonna be Moonie
628.	>she looks like the kind of pony who hates wasting more than 5 minutes cooking
629.	>"Hey, Moon Unit Beta. Got started on lunch?"
630.	>the tail swishes like a happy puppy
631.	>once the icebox stuff is put away, you dig in
632.	>the eggs don't quite taste the same
633.	>how does she get them to cook so evenly?
634.	>itsmagicidonthavetoexplainshit.jpg
635.	>Right. Unicorns.
636.	>you are Moondancer
637.	>you've got some of that book to read
638.	>a bowl full of ramen noodles
639.	>and Anon
640.	>he uses a fork
641.	>you sort the noodles by length and suck them in by groups from longest to shortest, with proportional amounts of egg of course
642.	>Anon twirls a bunch on the end of his fork, spikes a chunk of egg and then noms the whole thing
643.	>that's predators for you
644.	>he smiles with those pointy teeth
645.	>it's a little scary
646.	>but in a good way, Anon has noticed me way
647.	>and he likes the ramen
648.	>and he's reading that book, too
649.	>bowl's perfectly clean
650.	>you go to put it into the sink
651.	>tail swish to the knee
652.	>noticemesenpai
653.	 
654.	---
655.	 
656.	>you are Anon
657.	>And Moonie just gave you the come-hither with her tail
658.	>you can't help but look
659.	>somepony's a little grungy from last time
660.	>still
661.	>but she does clean up nicely
662.	>you've had nerdy girlfriends before
663.	>We can rebuild them
664.	>We have the technology
665.	>you clean up your bowl
666.	>"Whew! I was running around a LOT today."
667.	>"Gonna go hit the shower."
668.	>Gonna bait the hook, more like it.
669.	 
670.	---
671.	 
672.	>you are Moondancer
673.	>pone.exe has shutdown Abort, Cry, Squee?
674.	>you follow him into the bedroom
675.	>he goes in the bathroom, the door closes...
676.	>....almost.
677.	>you can see him in there
678.	>should you be looking?
679.	>you can't stop peeking through the crack
680.	>he hangs his shirt on the doorknob
681.	>turns around
682.	>you can see him pulling off those blue "jeans" he likes to wear
683.	>the water turns on
684.	>it's getting steamy in there
685.	>he's taking off...my glasses! They fogged over!
686.	>you take them off and rub the water away from the lenses
687.	>when you put them back on, the bathroom door is open wider, letting a cloud of hot water into the bedroom
688.	>Anon's in the tub showering behind the curtain
689.	>it's just opaque enough that all you get is an outline
690.	>he's singing something about being "no stranger to love"
691.	>closer...
692.	>*fog*
693.	>Horseapples!
694.	>the glasses come off
695.	>you squint
696.	>you take a step into the bathroom
697.	>if you're quiet, he'll never notice
698.	>*SPLOOSH*
699.	"Oops!"
700.	>you are Anon
701.	>the target has entered the firing area
702.	>you get a nice double handful of water annnnd...
703.	>"Oops!"
704.	>...throw it over the curtain at the outline on the other side
705.	*ACK!*
706.	https://wwwyoutube.com/watch?v=noXVN6v-ZeM [Embed]
707.	>water splattering everywhere
708.	>you pull the curtain aside to look out
709.	>she's wet from the neck up and shaking furiously
710.	>also blushing furiously
711.	"Anon, I'm..."
712.	>"All wet. May as well finish the job, so get in here."
713.	 
714.	---
715.	 
716.	>you are Moondancer
717.	>and Anon just soaked you!
718.	>And then he noticed you were in there!
719.	>AND THEN HE INVITED YOU TO JOIN HIM!
720.	>d-does he really like-like you?
721.	>you stumble a little on the wet tiles
722.	>the glasses go sliding under the tub
723.	>you fumble for them
724.	>*FWUMPH*
725.	>you kicked over the towel rack
726.	>covered in pink polka-dotted fluffy cotton
727.	>he's laughing
728.	>is he laughing at you?
729.	>he must be laughing at you
730.	>why is he laughing at you?
731.	>towels go in all directions
732.	>and you run out the door with your wet mane hanging low in shame
733.	 
734.	---
735.	 
736.	>you are Anon
737.	>What the fuck?
738.	 
739.	---
740.	 
741.	>you are Moondancer
742.	>you are running away from embarrassing yourself in front of Anon like the clumsy goof you are
743.	>you are also running mostly blind as you realize that your glasses are still under the tub
744.	>*WHAM*
745.	>right into the kitchen chair
746.	>*CRASH*
747.	>skidding into the side of the counter
748.	>*SPLOOSH*
749.	>leftover dishwater cascading down while you thrash around, tangled in the debris
750.	>you are a bad pony
751.	>you're peeking on Anon when he's bathing
752.	>he's too good for a clumsy mare
753.	>he's picking you up out of the broken pieces of wood
754.	>he's...taking you back to the bathroom
755.	>"I....I can clean that up!"
756.	>he's taking you into the shower
757.	>he's...rubbing soap into your mane and fur
758.	>he's...he's...not mad at me?
759.	 
760.	---
761.	 
762.	>you are Anon
763.	>and Moonie just sperged out on you
764.	>you're gonna need more duct tape next trip
765.	>but you also really need to clean up Moonie
766.	>not just the outside
767.	>you are still Anon
768.	>and there's a mare shivering in your tub with her eyes closed while you clean the dish-aster off her
769.	>you're sitting down with marebutt against your crotch
770.	>pony is not for sexual right now
771.	>even if it's a nice butt
772.	>crumbs of chicken abortion flow into the drain
773.	>you groom her, making soft, low wordless noises
774.	 
775.	---
776.	 
777.	>you are Moondancer
778.	>and your eyes are screwed shut
779.	>if the drain water is a little salty, who will know
780.	>Anon is petting you
781.	>you can't make out what he's saying but it's nice
782.	>slowly, the shame and terror wash down the drain
783.	>it's hard to think when he rubs your ears like that
784.	>bad ponies don't get petted by giant stall- men, right?
785.	 
786.	---
787.	 
788.	>you are Anon
789.	>and you laughed your ass off at the wrong time
790.	>ponies spook easier than humans, after all
791.	>even if it was funny
792.	>no horseplay with a qt mare in the shower today
793.	>just petting and a little rinse for the leftover soapy bits
794.	>the hot water finally starts to run out, so you turn it off
795.	>she's not shivering, but her eyes are still shut
796.	>luckily, there's a bunch of towels at floor level
797.	>rub the skin, rub the pony
798.	>wrap the pony up like a polka-dotted burrito,
799.	>dry your feet on the other towels
800.	>put the pone burrito on the bed
801.	>change the sheet
802.	>realize the pone is on the bed
803.	>try to change the fourth corner of the sheet one-handed
804.	>Mom made this look easy
805.	>succeed
806.	>put pone on bed again
807.	>realize glasses are still in bathroom
808.	>get glasses...
809.	 
810.	---
811.	 
812.	>you are Moondancer
813.	>you feel a lot better but you still can't see Anon clearly
814.	>if you look at him all squinty, he might laugh
815.	>so you keep your eyes shut till he puts you on the bed and walks away
816.	>still wrapped up
817.	>you try to unwrap yourself with a little hornwork
818.	>nothing but sparks
819.	>you...spark like a little filly when you get scared
820.	>at least you didn't drop anything else
821.	>something is on your face
822.	>glasses?
823.	"Feeling a little better, Moonie?"
824.	>
825.	>you are Moondancer
826.	>and you can see clearly now, the shower's gone
827.	>well, that and your glasses
828.	>you're on something soft
829.	>that would be Anon
830.	>you're also wrapped up in something soft
831.	>that would be an Anon-sized towel
832.	>it's kinda huggy
833.	>and you're about a foot away from Anon's face
834.	>who is also the huggy sort, come to think
835.	>*blush*
836.	 
837.	---
838.	 
839.	>you are Anon
840.	>and the last time you did something like this was with a cat
841.	>worked about as well and less scratching this time, so win
842.	>She's blinking at you like an owl
843.	>Who?
844.	>Moondancer!
845.	>And then she blushes
846.	>"So...ready to talk about all this? I mean, if you're wrapped up in something, let me know."
847.	>THAT got her out of blushing
848.	*CRACKLE*
849.	>she proceeds to sprinkle you with harmless sparks out of her horn again
850.	>you briefly wonder if there's some kind of unicorn Viagra for performance issues
851.	 
852.	---
853.	 
854.	>you are Moondancer
855.	>you just sparked all over Anon
856.	>RUN AWAY, something says
857.	>but you're all wrapped up
858.	>you sorta wiggle briefly before your body realizes it's going nowhere and the fit fades away
859.	>Anon wraps you up in his arms to keep you from rolling off his chest
860.	>you just bury your nose in his chest and breathe and try NOT to hyperventilate
861.	>think about books
862.	>books aren't big and scary
863.	>they're always happy to see you
864.	>...you end up with a mental picture of Anon instead
865.	 
866.	---
867.	 
868.	>you are Anon
869.	>and there is a pony snuffling your chest
870.	>and smiling
871.	>So are you.
872.	>you are Anon
873.	>you have a captive audience
874.	>so you're going to get some answers
875.	>and you get them
876.	>none wrapped in the Towels of Truth can resist your questions
877.	>the potential for boops or nuzzles for the especially stubborn was not lost on your subject
878.	>Canterlot has a premium on males
879.	>which is likely why the only female sex worker in town you found was a lame-winged pegasus
880.	>horny mares tend to get -very- competitive as a result with compatible ones
881.	>long-term "escort" services, ride-by-night stallions that are here one day and gone the next with dubious contraceptive charms for quick money, or barrel-scrapers that you'd have to be that desperate to shag
882.	>being a mare in heat running around dozens of others in a city the same way qualifies as desperate
883.	>mares tend to pass along "cooler" references by word-of-mouth rather than trusting a random sheath-on-the-street
884.	>and Burritopone here was afraid some mare was going to come along and take advantage of you
885.	>thus the contract
886.	>the nerdicorn with freak-out issues, protecting you from bossy mares
887.	>your sexual expert agent who's had sex...once
888.	>this earns the pony nuzzlings for being adorkably fierce
889.	>"You know, this makes us friends with benefits."
890.	"B-benefits?"
891.	>"Yep. You keep the crazy mares from dragging me away, and...
892.	>*smooch* "Nose love."
893.	>*skritcha-skritch* "Ears love."
894.	> "Maaaaannnne love" -as your fingers neatly demolish her usual bun into a cloud of mane hair
895.	> then you braid it into a "fishtail"
896.	>while she tries to inch her way up your chest
897.	>any time she starts getting headway, you just casually stroke an ear
898.	>fingers are definitely an unfair advantage for humans in snuggle struggles
899.	>the old bun hairtie goes in at the bottom to hold everything in place
900.	>it's long enough to brush her hooves if she stood up
901.	>you instead use it to tickle her nose
902.	*achoo!*
903.	>OK, slightly ew.
904.	>you free the primped pony from her prison and put the towel to use
905.	>you are Moondancer
906.	>you have just sneezed in Anon's face
907.	>what, it's allergy season and he tickled your nose!
908.	>he's rubbing the towel over his face
909.	>while he's not looking, you prepare your revenge
910.	>the towel falls away
911.	>you lick his nose- humans look very funny when you do that
912.	>"Nose love."
913.	>you lip those funny round ear-ends he's got
914.	>"Ear love."
915.	>and you snuffle his head-mane for good measure
916.	>by the time you remember anything else but cuddling and rubbing each other, it's nearly sunset
917.	>and there's a knock-knock-knockity on the door
918.	 
919.	---
920.	 
921.	>you are Anon, and someone's come a-calling
922.	>you scoop Moonie off the bed and go find out
923.	>it's blue
924.	>it's bouncing
925.	>it's a unicorn with an hourglass on her butt
926.	"Ohmygoodness Moondancer! You did your hair!"
927.	>you watch as the greeting rituals of females regardless of species unfold
928.	>You recognize words like "hoof polish", but most of it is lost in some strange squealing-giggling patois that nothing with testicles can comprehend
929.	"And I went over to visit Lemon Hearts and...*whisperwhisperwhisper*"
930.	"She didn't!"
931.	"She DID! Lemon Drops was whizzing around like a divebombing pegasus! And she said to Lemon Hearts *whisperwhisperwhisper*
932.	"ME?"
933.	"You! Sooooo....who's your snuggle stallion? Ya gotta tell me! He's supposed to be tall and dreamy and..."
934.	>Moondancer's back to being red in the face
935.	>and she bumps her flank against your leg
936.	>actually, she's hiding behind you and peeking out now
937.	"You mean...?"
938.	>Minuette looks you up
939.	>and down
940.	>and stops about just below the belt line
941.	>and up again
942.	>and without a pause, she bounces around your leg and takes a good sniff of Moonie's mane
943.	"Oooh, did -I- interrupt some serious snuggling with you and a -really cool stallion-?"
944.	>you get the feeling there's some more mare-code in there
945.	"We were just snuggle-snuggling!"
946.	>your marefriend-cum-agent is starting with the fireworks again
947.	>so you pick her up
948.	>This doesn't stop Minuette
949.	>you are Moondancer
950.	>and Anon has picked you up
951.	>which feels safer
952.	>except that Minuette is better known as the "Dancing Dentist"
953.	*BOING*
954.	"He IS! Ohmygoshohmygoshishe *BOING* contractedhowdidyouaffordhimdidyou *BOING* winthelottery-"
955.	>"I'm his frontmare!"
956.	"you...what...wha....wow?"
957.	*WHOMP*
958.	>she didn't stick the landing
959.	"awk~ward!"
960.	>"You wanted to know if he could cover for you."
961.	"Like...yes?"
962.	>"Tomorrow?"
963.	>You see the light of hope dawn in her eyes
964.	"Yes?"
965.	>"Anon, is your schedule clear tomorrow?"
966.	 
967.	---
968.	 
969.	>you are Anon
970.	>Moondancer is scheduling you for an appointment
971.	>the appointee is currently tangled in your feet in a rather awkward position
972.	>nothing wrong with that, mind you
973.	>"Why...sure, Moondancer! I can cover for Minuette tomorrow night."
974.	>suddenly, your legs are nearly being mashed together
975.	"Thank you! On the first day? I am -so- lucky. I'll be by tomorrow at six and couldyoupleaseputMoondancerdownsoIcanthankhertoo"
976.	>you cautiously put the unicorn down and back away slowly
977.	"Eeeeeeeee!"
978.	>Note to self: powerful, death-hug dealing legs
979.	>Moondancer is doomed as the hugbeast two-leg-hops around with your favorite pony clasped to her barrel
980.	>once she puts down your unicorn, she comes over and sniffs your hand
981.	"You smell nice and herdy. This is gonna be SO GOOD!"
982.	>and just like that, she digs out a bag, plunks it down in your hand, rubs noses with Moonie and walks out, though you're not sure her hooves are touching the ground
983.	>yep, that's a few hundred bits
984.	>"So, what does Minuette do that she needs me to cover her on the night shift for?"
985.	"She....um...actually, she works at a dressage club...she's going through dental school."
986.	>...she does the pony version of stripping?
987.	>sweat begins to bead on your forehead
988.	>you're going to be dancing for ponies in a strip joint?
989.	>where's a hanky?
990.	"No, no, no! She wants you to COVER her. You know...covering?"
991.	>your mind conjures being on a stage trying to dress a scantily clad dancing pony
992.	>you are Moondancer
993.	>and Anon is being clueless
994.	>not sure if on purpose
995.	>seriously, sexiest thing on two legs in the room and he can't get decent innuendo
996.	>"She wants you-covering-her, Anon."
997.	>you turn around and flip your tail
998.	>"You know...back here?"
999.	>It's tough wearing any clothing on your back end when you're in heat
1000.	>that stuff stains everything, and it smells, and...
1001.	>...well, Minuette dresses up in fancy clothing that doesn't take heat time well
1002.	>which means calling out hot
1003.	>which means no working for most of two weeks
1004.	>stallions don't have to deal with their bits getting drippy for weeks at a time
1005.	>or needing to pee at random
1006.	>or using coolers
1007.	>there's a reason mares rule the world, and it's compensating for stupid heats
1008.	>and Anon has picked you up mid-internal-rant and is teasing your dock
1009.	 
1010.	---
1011.	 
1012.	>you are Anon
1013.	>and the thought of pony un-strippers is a whyboner moment
1014.	>but there it is
1015.	>just as Moondancer flips her tail up
1016.	>and leaves it up, lost in thought
1017.	>the pony is being distracting
1018.	>so you will take the pony to bed
1019.	>one hand under the front
1020.	>one hand full of extra-filling unicorn butt
1021.	"A-anon!"
1022.	>the Anon train has no brakes
1023.	>you bare your predatory fangs and chomp tenderly one buttcheek, making fierce nomming noises
1024.	>squealing kicky pony cannot escape
1025.	>you destroy Moondancer's butt with fierce raspberries on her chubby back, then plant your filthy monkey muzzle in her belly and ruin that for good measure
1026.	>The Anon feasted well on pony that night, and the quivering remains warmed his flesh throughout the night until they had to pee and wash off the slobber marks in the bathroom
1027.	>you are Moondancer
1028.	>it's the depths of the night
1029.	>Anon is sleeping off having ravaged you in bed, the beast
1030.	>you plan to do something depraved in bed next to him while he's asleep yourself
1031.	>sneak into the kitchen
1032.	>grab what you need without a sound
1033.	>crawl back into bed
1034.	>try to be quiet
1035.	>make a few slurping, smacking sounds next to Anon until you swallow the last drops, leaving only a thin white mark on your nose
1036.	>Cake and a glass of milk in someone else's bed when they're asleep is soooooo naughty!
1037.	>you are Anon
1038.	>it's morning
1039.	>you're hungry
1040.	>there's a plate with a few crumbs and an empty glass of once-milk on the nightstand
1041.	>more crumbs in bed
1042.	>clearly, you are a lousy sleepeater
1043.	>Also, a note:
1044.	>"Can't take another sick day, needed at work- in case of emergency, at the library."
1045.	>and it's signed with Moondancer's cutie mark
1046.	>that's a neat trick
1047.	>but it means you've got six hours or so to kill
1048.	>and some spare bits from that advance
1049.	>some horseplay is in order
1050.	>and the Racetrack Arcade is six blocks down the way
1051.	>sure, not much in the way of vidyagaming
1052.	>but they DO have skeeball
1053.	>and the prizes are a lot better than the ones you remember from Freddy Fazbear's back home
1054.	>the mushroom pizza's pretty good too
1055.	>with the little-little ponies in school, only a few random adults are there to nosh on greasy slices and play the games
1056.	>you wave at an acned-out scrawny stallion with a 50's robot for a butt mark
1057.	>he's out on a date with some white-slinky unicorn who's more interested in talking about clothes than playing
1058.	>poor bastard
1059.	>but even he's date material in Canterlot
1060.	>the ball pit is fun, though that one pegasus that decides to powerbomb it at full flight speed blows all the balls out
1061.	>all you saw was rainbows before being swept out the entrance
1062.	>they gave you an extra hour for that after booting the birdbrain
1063.	>many tickets towards one of the Super Jingly Grand Prize were had, but some earth pony walked out with all four of the ones on the shelf as you were going to cash them in!
1064.	>you vow revenge in classic six-year old fashion as a mountain of stuffed animals with a pink fluffy tail somehow gets outside without losing so much as a Giant Mister Sparky (tm) Dragon Doll
1065.	>you order two large Shroomvrooms as usual
1066.	>large for pony is half a medium for Anon at best
1067.	>...seeing that pony in the cowboy hat looking longingly at your superior choice in dishes, though...
1068.	>...OK, you take two of those slices extra cheese instead
1069.	>you're still Anon
1070.	>you've had your balls blasted, your prizes pinched
1071.	>you're not going to be a pizza prick
1072.	>and sure enough, once you're clear she snags the slices you left behind
1073.	>clearly best pony material today
1074.	>you demolish your folding slices of mixed mushroom magnificence one after another
1075.	>roasted portabellos soak up the spices and a bit of cheesy grease so well you'd swear it was sausage
1076.	>cowpone and dressupcorn with date are hanging out at the table
1077.	>from the jealous looks, best pony has best pizza
1078.	>and dressupcorn has...probably something diet
1079.	>some ponies have no idea how to enjoy a good pizza place, really
1080.	>you leave with your stash of tickets (another time, Mister Sparky) and those leftover cheesy slices for home as the school crowd starts to roll in with scrounged lunch money and hungry eyes
1081.	>and of course...it happens.
1082.	>one little stampede of field-tripping colts and fillies try and push past the door at the same time with their haggard-looking teacher
1083.	>something with a big red bow bashes into your knee
1084.	>and the leftovers go flying
1085.	>cheese-side down over two snooty fillies
1086.	>what do you call a pink pony and a grey pony with pizza faces?
1087.	>time to cheese it
1088.	>luckily, the teacher was looking the other way
1089.	>the rest of the class is too busy being a giggling distraction
1090.	>you haul your goofy ass out of Arcadeland before Sky Eye or one of the other beat cops decides it's time for another ticket
1091.	>you're still Anon, possibly wanted man for hit and run with pie
1092.	>and your dash for freedom has taken you further down the street away from home
1093.	>right onto Palace Street
1094.	>it's a long, straight road to the Castle, and you never can miss the view
1095.	>high in the sky, there's some loopy purple pegasus coming in on approach like a drunken chicken
1096.	>she vanishes in a flash of purple light inches from crashing into a wall
1097.	>hope that wasn't some kind of pony equivalent of a bug zapper
1098.	>you did wonder how they kept the walls so clean
1099.	>aaaaaand look at that it's one of Canterlot's finest!
1100.	>midnight blue
1101.	>telescope on the butt
1102.	>it's your favorite pony po-po, Sky Eye!
1103.	"I just got a call on a pie and run a few blocks down the way...so, Anon. What'd you have for lunch?"
1104.	>"Pizza with mushrooms."
1105.	>he sniffs your breath
1106.	"...OK, it checks out. Assailant was armed with a cheese pizza. You're clear to go. THIS time."
1107.	>and off he flies to terrorize a pink-maned adorableness slowly floating towards the palace
1108.	"You! What'd you have for lunch?"
1109.	"A-a-a pizza with extra cheese?"
1110.	"And you were dropping slices on fillies for kicks, WEREN'T YOU?"
1111.	>...and there's Blue Ballblaster, zipping in to argue with Sky Eye
1112.	>least she's good backup
1113.	>watching two flying ponies get into an argument while the third one tries to hide in a roof-full of pigeons (if the feathers coming over the side is any indication) is good entertainment
1114.	>annnnd here come Cowpone and Dresshorse, dragging The Poor Bastard with her horn at the gallop
1115.	>now they're all getting into it
1116.	>annnnd there's the police whistle
1117.	>Birds in Blue everywhere
1118.	>hey, there's that bow-filly with a few friends
1119.	>and she's...confessing?
1120.	>Sky Eye is giving her the third degree
1121.	>so is Cowpone
1122.	>someone's going to bed without dessert tonight
1123.	>they all start walking slowly back towards the arcade in a clump, the fillies looking dejected
1124.	>"Hey! You! The filly with the bow!"
1125.	>"You dropped these tickets!"
1126.	"Ah...ah didn't drop anything!"
1127.	 
1128.	>"You did, and after all that with the pizza? You should know not to deny that sorta thing."
1129.	>and you stuff a double handful of play tickets into her saddlebag
1130.	>there's not a chance in hell it all fit in there before
1131.	>but you make it fit
1132.	"Um....thanks?"
1133.	>you bend over and whisper:
1134.	>"Thanks for covering for me, kid. You lost some more at the prize counter, too."
1135.	>considering she saved you at least fifty bits, it's a bargain
1136.	>"Now stop dropping your stuff all over the street. Do you want to be known as..."
1137.	>"...a SERIAL LITTERBUG?"
1138.	>Dresshorse actually looks scandalized by the concept of hanging out with a filly delinquent.
1139.	>Cowpone is just looking at you funny
1140.	>she's on to you...
1141.	>"Really, those kids left a trail all the way back to the arcade! Nice of them to come all the way here to help you mares out with the cops."
1142.	>and with that, you wave and jog back down the street, missing stepping on most of the hooves as you go
1143.	>you "find" the rest of the tickets and make sure Grand Prix holds them at the prize counter, then scoot before the herd gets in
1144.	>dinner and a show, what could have been better?
1145.	>...realizing Minuette's showing up at your apartment in an hour and Moondancer's off any minute and you forgot to clean up?
1146.	>operation Dine and Dash must succeed!
1147.	>you make it the six blocks back in under 10 minutes
1148.	>and lo and behold, Moonie's at the door looking nervous
1149.	>you sneak like the ninja you are
1150.	>*CLOMP*
1151.	>like the giant elephant on a squeaky hallway floor you are
1152.	>and rub noses
1153.	>ponies take smooching much more seriously
1154.	>you're OK with the Eskimo Way anyhow
1155.	"Time to panic clean?"
1156.	>"Yep."
1157.	"Got enough closet space?"
1158.	>"Hope so."
1159.	>you end up getting the bathroom back in order
1160.	>Moonie proves that telekinesis > hands for stuffing a closet full of junk to the top and then making it shut and lock
1161.	>you even manage to splash some water on your face and change shirts before it's quarter-to-six
1162.	>because sauce stains ain't stylin', yo
1163.	 
1164.	>sit on couch
1165.	>next to Moondancer, who is back to the bun
1166.	>"It made a great bookmark though", she tells you
1167.	>professional faces on
1168.	>two minutes in, look at each other's professional face and giggle, ruining it
1169.	>six o' clock
1170.	>six-oh-five
1171.	>six-ten...*KNOCKKNOCKCRASH*
1172.	>Moonie opens the door
1173.	>there's Minuette
1174.	>there's what appears to be a sock hanging from her horn and saddlebags up around her neck
1175.	"Hi,Hi! I'm so sorry I'm late, I had to undress from work and..."
1176.	>professional face status: rekt
1177.	>Moondancer says something quietly in her ear that makes it perk up and swivel your way, then
1178.	"You're sure you're OK with just you in here with a mare?"
1179.	>"Long as I don't have to stuff them in the closet."
1180.	>Minuette takes another pass at Moondancer on the way out the door
1181.	>whatever she's telling her, it's making her almost goofy-dance her way around the corner
1182.	"Oh, Anonnnn....can I use your bathroom to freshen up a little?"
1183.	>isn't that Femalese for "I'm nervous and need some quick alone time?"
1184.	>"Sure thing!"
1185.	>you quietly hope you didn't miss anything in there
1186.	 
1187.	---
1188.	 
1189.	>you are Minuette
1190.	>and you're going to get REALLY well covered today
1191.	>but that's just the bonus
1192.	>you're totally going to get Anon hot to trot
1193.	>keep him distracted till Moonie's properly dressed up
1194.	>pop his cork like bubbly cider
1195.	>and then you're going to fool with that filly till Luna goes to bed once you wear out Anon
1196.	>shouldn't take more than two minutes, tops
1197.	>you've always had a thing for Moondancer
1198.	>but virgin bookhorses won't even go into a sock shop without spaghetti saddlebagging it
1199.	>thanks to Anon, no more virgin
1200.	>a healthy interest in getting more stallion time
1201.	>and some outfits that'll "keep your stallion standing", as it were
1202.	>they just happen to keep you tingly, too
1203.	>you love Moondancer
1204.	>not just platonically
1205.	>but she'll never keep a stallion on her own and she won't herd up without one
1206.	>you want Moondancer
1207.	>and a nice stallion is a bonus
1208.	>Anon's close enough
1209.	>you get all your props in order…
1210.	>you are Anon
1211.	>and you're sitting on the bed waiting for Minuette to get her nerve up and come out of the potty
1212.	>one last check for pizza breath
1213.	>you're sucking on a mint anyway
1214.	>and the bathroom door cracks open, just enough to let one well defined foot step past the threshold
1215.	>and your vision becomes misty all of the sudden as the light turns off
1216.	>the glow of magic, swirling uncountable filmy scarves of silk in the air
1217.	>something leaps through the air
1218.	>for a moment, the cloth-fog parts enough to show a mare, mid-leap
1219.	>a flash of midnight blue, serpentine swirls across her legs that form themselves into socks even as she -slinks- down to the floor
1220.	>the hint of a bi-colored tail, vanishing even as you realize it
1221.	>a scarf *CRACKS* in the cloth-cloud, making you startle
1222.	>the air, stirring brings a faint scent of arousal
1223.	>a diffuse blue glow behind the veils
1224.	>in the corner, she rises with perfect precision, an Equestrian pesade
1225.	>into a two-legged leap!
1226.	>up, over...her tail dusts the ceiling as a ribbon wraps itself around in a spiral, glitters like stars tying themselves into a neat bow at the base...
1227.	>...and she lands on her front hooves, balanced as gracefully as a biped
1228.	>...one foreleg comes up and stretches out lazily, and you can't help but watch the rippling flesh or the velvet hoof-cover that laces itself over the extended digit
1229.	>then she switches effortlessly, and makes a little come-hither for good measure
1230.	>something black and lacy rubs itself against your face like a lingerie cat
1231.	>Minuette's hind legs go vertical
1232.	>and the mare-panties she just stroked against you slide down to caress her ass
1233.	>they leave absolutely nothing to the imagination
1234.	>and even less when they start to show damp outlines
1235.	>or when she twists a full 180 on that single hoof to show off the other side, teats straining to be contained beneath the heaving lace
1236.	>you seriously begin to consider going totally ponysexual
1237.	>you are Minuette
1238.	>and Anon is most definitely out of his sheath
1239.	>a day or so more and you'd probably have to use a fire hose to keep the stallions off during your routine
1240.	>but right now, you're just interested in one
1241.	>"How's it feel to be my Very Important Pony?"
1242.	>"Would you like to...take my lead?"
1243.	>and just like that, you sneak a bridle into his lap
1244.	>periwinkle-flower accents in silver, and a nice strong bit strap for a stallion to hold on to tucked behind the ears
1245.	>you don't think Anon will use his teeth there
1246.	>but you wouldn't mind in the least
1247.	>"Won't you put your pretty pony in her harness, Anon?", as you get back on all fours and mince, one hoof after another in a line that ends at Anon's knees
1248.	>he's sweating like it's Midsummer, but his hands move almost unthinkingly
1249.	>you purr as the padded straps slide over your head
1250.	>and those delicious fingers brush the base of your horn
1251.	>what is he...
1252.	>ohhhhh he's got me by the ears
1253.	>you didn't know you could do that to a mare's ears
1254.	>nopony had done them to YOURS, anyway
1255.	>you're close enough to smell his desire taking the bit in it's mouth and running
1256.	>those pants have to be uncomfortable
1257.	>they'll have to come off, but first...
1258.	>you giggle and let the cloth orbit close around Anon's head, ribbons licking at his ears and leaving him in a world that's all you
1259.	>and open the door for the -other- mare to get inside
1260.	>her mane is braided
1261.	>so's her tail
1262.	>and she's wearing a nice purple schoolfilly's skirt that's a hair too small
1263.	>you think the stripes on her panties underneath help make that big butt even more worth noticing
1264.	>the stage is set
1265.	>and Moondancer's quietly undoing his pants
1266.	>you pull them down, making sure your velvety hooves measure Anon's best asset
1267.	>...and let the cloth fall down like a springtime sprinkle as your lips meet Moondancer's at a rendezvous- between Anon's legs
1268.	 
1269.	---
1270.	 
1271.	>you are Anon
1272.	>and the veil has been dropped
1273.	>and holy fuck, you're being double-teamed on the most expanded dong ever
1274.	>you are still Anon
1275.	>though perhaps you died somewhere and went to heaven
1276.	>as there's two mares making out with your dick in the middle
1277.	>Moondancer seems more interested in tasting you
1278.	>Minuette is kissing you and managing to sneak in a few on Moonie's muzzle for good measure
1279.	>and if Minuette is the teacher of "how to sex it up in clothes, Moondancer's the student
1280.	>with the braids and ribbons
1281.	>and that too-short skirt
1282.	>and that tight, broad length of mare-do-well across her ass
1283.	>all she'd need is pigtails and a lolly to finish the impression
1284.	>lacking the lolly, she's decided to use you instead
1285.	 
1286.	---
1287.	 
1288.	>you are Minuette
1289.	>and you're discovering that humans are pleasantly salty
1290.	>the sweaty parts you've freed from khaki bondage
1291.	>the occasional taste you can get of what Moondancer's enthusiastically suckling on
1292.	>it's definitely amateur night
1293.	>most stallions would have popped off by now if she actually did it right
1294.	 
1295.	---
1296.	 
1297.	>you are Anon
1298.	>she's a natural at this
1299.	>or really inspired
1300.	>not that Minuette's hurting things with the go-team-testicle-licking bit
1301.	 
1302.	---
1303.	 
1304.	>you are Moondancer
1305.	>and you have no idea what you're doing, but Minuette said it's a great way to get a stallion spunking
1306.	>Anon isn't, but you can taste your success
1307.	>so you keep going until Minuette nips your neck!
1308.	 
1309.	---
1310.	 
1311.	>you are Minuette
1312.	>and you want Anon in YOUR mouth
1313.	>after all, it'll be easier to tell when he's going off
1314.	>and you're damn well going to get your money's worth of THAT where it'll do some good
1315.	>there, she's off his rod
1316.	>and you are gonna back on that
1317.	*smack*
1318.	>he....he spanked you!
1319.	>he-he's got both hands on your panties and...
1320.	 
1321.	---
1322.	 
1323.	>you are Anon
1324.	>and Minuette needs to learn to share
1325.	>both hands on the pony butts
1326.	>under the panties
1327.	>and just like that, you've got two mares with their heads on the bed and your fingers knuckle deep in their marehoods
1328.	>Moonie's already soaking hers
1329.	>Minuette's just shocked
1330.	 
1331.	---
1332.	 
1333.	>you are Minuette
1334.	>and Anon is doing heavenly things to your backside
1335.	>you are Minuette
1336.	>and Anon is riding your cunts like a team in harness
1337.	>magic-clopping just doesn't feel the same as flesh, even if you can make funny shapes
1338.	>you're gonna have to retire this pair after tonight
1339.	>and frame the panties on the bathroom wall
1340.	>he's playing you two like a one-pony band
1341.	>*twitch*
1342.	>if you weren't leaning on the bed, you'd have been on the floor
1343.	>h-he's got a finger all slippery in the other hole!
1344.	>AND he's still diddling you
1345.	>AND he's still diddling her
1346.	>and that splattering sound is Moondancer soiling her panties with an orgasm
1347.	>and THAT sets you off when you watch that dorky cute face of hers twist up into something ridiculously sexy
1348.	>you push against Anon's invasion of your nethers, and grunt as you can feel the two fingers moving as one
1349.	 
1350.	---
1351.	 
1352.	>you are Anon
1353.	>and you've just given your first pony shocker
1354.	>two in the wink
1355.	>one in the stink
1356.	>she's got her mouth open and there's a line of drool hitting the ground as Minuette watches the other mare getting off while humping your hand for all it's worth
1357.	>both have mostly forgotten about your dick in favor of sexually violating your digits
1358.	>that's probably good for not blowing your load in the next few minutes
1359.	>it's also good for them blowing theirs
1360.	>Moondancer's panties are a soaking mess
1361.	 
1362.	---
1363.	 
1364.	>you are Minuette
1365.	>Moondancer is going to be ready for an all-nighter after this
1366.	>and you're going to put Anon's dick to rest without mercy
1367.	>if-if-iiiiiiiiffffff
1368.	>"SWEET SASSY CELESTIA!"
1369.	>you can get that hand out of your behind
1370.	 
1371.	---
1372.	 
1373.	>you are Anon
1374.	>you may have just sprained a few fingers when Minuette got off
1375.	>at least the one in her ass
1376.	>she shimmies her lacy tail and breaks free of your sodomizing
1377.	"Ohhhhh Anon? I think I'm ready for you to get on top of me like the big stallion you are..."
1378.	>what that look didn't melt is now diamonds
1379.	>and she turns in place and presents, the magic outline pulling her panties tight one more time before abandoning them
1380.	"I'm ready for my closeup..."
1381.	>you are Moondancer
1382.	>and Anon just knocked the starch out of your saddle
1383.	>you crawl on to the bed, the wet making interesting feelings as the cloth squishes into your fur
1384.	>you snuggle against a leg and pant
1385.	>...and there's Minuette with her tail in the air and one thing on her mind
1386.	>...you're still kinda sore from Anon
1387.	>Minuette's in for a surprise!
1388.	 
1389.	>you are Anon
1390.	>and there's a ravenous unicorn out for your dick
1391.	>the bed's actually the right height to match Anon slot A with Pony slot B
1392.	>you just hold yourself straight and level and let Minuette find where she want's it
1393.	 
1394.	---
1395.	 
1396.	>you are Minuette
1397.	>and you've got Anon by the dick
1398.	>against your finely tuned muscles, it won't take but a moment to get your cum~
1399.	>two minutes
1400.	>five minutes
1401.	>...is he impotent or something?
1402.	>nope, he's working your ass like it's overtime
1403.	>you could do your next six routines to this beat
1404.	>in 2/2 balls time
1405.	>he keeps going...and going...
1406.	 
1407.	>you are Anon
1408.	>it's been about 15 minutes
1409.	>and you are plenty ready
1410.	>Moondancer rubbing her head against your side while you fuck is comforting
1411.	>but your balls tighten and empty themselves
1412.	>and all there is to anything is your dick and it's natural home, the pone
1413.	 
1414.	---
1415.	 
1416.	>You are Minuette
1417.	>And you manage to turn the scream into some weird noise
1418.	>blame it on O-face
1419.	>that satisfying, steady squirt of Vitamin D to the foal factory
1420.	>...and you don't even have to worry about contraceptive charms
1421.	>"Un-uhhhhh..."
1422.	>Oh, Celestia....that hits the hotstpot!
1423.	>he's picking you up
1424.	>is he going to try for another round?
1425.	>no
1426.	>the pets
1427.	>halp
1428.	>I...
1429.	>had plans
1430.	>Mmmmmmmmmm
1431.	 
1432.	---
1433.	 
1434.	>You are Anon
1435.	>the very non-naked ponies are very messy right now
1436.	>washday can wait
1437.	>you've got one under each arm
1438.	>the ruthless ear and neckplay dominates Minuette into obeying the racial need for after-sex snuggles
1439.	>the bed is nice and warm with two ponies
1440.	>you'll have to see what happens when you all wake up together tomorrow
1441.	>you are Anon
1442.	>it's a beautiful Canterlot morning, a few clouds starting to fly in for an afternoon shower
1443.	>the feeling of cloth across your otherwise naked belly
1444.	>that'd be from the two mares holding each other's cloth-covered legs entwined atop
1445.	>you're not getting up yet is the clear message
1446.	>Minuette snorts into your armpit and pulls Moondancer's leg over a bit further to her side
1447.	>Moondancer flops over and puts her hindleg across your thighs
1448.	>Minuette is...holding Moondancer's hoof between her forelegs and doing something that's probably very lewd
1449.	>to ponies anyway
1450.	 
1451.	---
1452.	 
1453.	>you are Moondancer
1454.	>and you're still out cold
1455.	>but someone's rubbing your hoof
1456.	>mmm, just 10 more minutes...
1457.	 
1458.	---
1459.	 
1460.	>you are Minuette
1461.	>and you look like you're asleep, but you aren't
1462.	>you've got Moondancer by the hoof
1463.	>and you're not letting go, even if you have to drag half of her over that behemoth sleeping between you
1464.	 
1465.	---
1466.	 
1467.	>you are Anon
1468.	>two mares are apparently playing tug-of-war over your-man's-land
1469.	>they both smell of slightly stale sex and sweat, but you like the smell of ponies
1470.	>your arm is free to stroke Moondancer's back
1471.	>and Minuette has her hoof-binkie against her muzzle
1472.	>it's a nice lazy morning
1473.	>you're not going to change that
1474.	>you are still sleepy Moondancer
1475.	>and you're chilly
1476.	>the warm nice smell is gone
1477.	>maybe it moved, you can smell it not too far off
1478.	>it comes closer
1479.	>warm and Anon and friend and fuzzy
1480.	>good
1481.	>cuddle!
1482.	 
1483.	>you are Minuette
1484.	>Anon slid out of bed to use the bathroom
1485.	>Moondancer just made unhappy noises and pulled on your hoof until you slid over
1486.	>she's using you as a pillow
1487.	>and nomming your ear
1488.	>she's also sucking the heat from you like some kind of sun vampire
1489.	>it's actually really nice after the last few nights with the heat flashes
1490.	>plus, she smells like Anon too
1491.	>that's even better than just sweaty sexy mare
1492.	>you nicker quietly and let her do whatever she likes
1493.	>Minuette do like
1494.	 
1495.	---
1496.	 
1497.	>you are Anon
1498.	>and the only thing monstrous about this morning was the piss you had to take
1499.	>when you come back, it's adorable
1500.	>Moondancer is slobbering on Minuette's ear
1501.	>they're tangled up in a pile of sheets, loose ribbons, and her panties are bunched up in the crack
1502.	>actually, they're probably glued there
1503.	>Minuette keeps making little happy horse noises and twitches
1504.	>and their manes are disaster areas only a professional beautician could survive
1505.	>they're four parts adorable, one part lewd
1506.	>they shall have pancakes
1507.	>pancakes are divine, after all
1508.	>you make for the kitchen
1509.	>you only need an apron for pancakes, after all
1510.	>three tall stacks later, the bleary mare-zombies shuffle into the room
1511.	>Minuette's halter is hanging askew over one ear
1512.	>Moondancer's left-hind sock is mostly dragging along the floor as it clings grimly to her hoof
1513.	>and they're leaning on each other to walk in a mostly straight line
1514.	>not a single piece of clothing is on right
1515.	>but your pancakes can call back the dead
1516.	>...OK, maybe someponies need coffee too
1517.	>you'll get on that
1518.	>you are Anon
1519.	>and two unicorns are prancing around your bathroom singing something saccharine while water flies in all directions
1520.	>that is, before they sat down in a half-full tub to soak for a few minutes
1521.	>marecum is apparently good for gluing cloth to fur. Yours too.
1522.	>then Minuette splashed Moondancer
1523.	>the bathroom floor is soaked
1524.	>wellthatescalatedquickly.jpg
1525.	>and apparently that was time for spontaneous song number
1526.	>when you stuck your head in to protest the musical ear-worming, they ended up lobbing their panties at you
1527.	>which are now slowly sliding down the bathroom door
1528.	>you'll go in there when it's sane, silent, and unicorn-free
1529.	>until then, you'll just hum along to the perculator's percussion
1530.	>you are Moondancer
1531.	>and you're having fun with Minuette
1532.	>who is adorable
1533.	>and a long-time friend
1534.	>and a satisfied customer
1535.	 
1536.	---
1537.	 
1538.	>you are Minuette
1539.	>and you've having fun with Moondancer
1540.	>who you're considering jumping on in the shower
1541.	>because dat wet mane
1542.	>hnnnngh
1543.	>if she wasn't about as graceful as a minotaur in a tea house and as fashionable as lint, you'd get her a job at the club
1544.	>then again, if she wasn't that adorkable, you never would have fallen for her in the first place
1545.	>and you'll never be satisfied
1546.	>until she's your little spoon every night
1547.	 
1548.	---
1549.	 
1550.	>you are Moondancer
1551.	>and you've just discovered bathtubs full of water are slippery
1552.	>your wet mane has a mind of it's own
1553.	>and you don't really see so good without your glasses
1554.	>"Whoops!"
1555.	 
1556.	---
1557.	 
1558.	>you are Minuette
1559.	>and there's an old saying:
1560.	>"Be careful what you wish for, Discord might give you just what you've always wanted"
1561.	>Moondancer slips
1562.	>she flails, clocking you upside the head
1563.	>you fall back against the extra-large tub and slide down with a *sploosh*
1564.	>she falls...into your lap
1565.	>well, a little lower than your lap
1566.	 
1567.	---
1568.	 
1569.	>you are Anon
1570.	>the bathroom brawl rises to a cresendo
1571.	>then...silence
1572.	>manfully clad in your "Kiss the cook" apron, you come in to announce breakfast
1573.	>Minuette has her hooves over the edge of the tub
1574.	>and she's blushing
1575.	>this is probably because Moondancer is ass up, face down in her lap
1576.	>OK, a little lower than that
1577.	>"I'll just cover the pancakes till you're done..."
1578.	 
1579.	---
1580.	 
1581.	>you are Moondancer
1582.	>you are currently admiring the pretty cutie marks orbiting in your vision, set against a blue fuzzy sky
1583.	>it's a good thing you landed on something soft
1584.	>and a little bumpy
1585.	>funny, it's getting bumpier
1586.	>and then you realize you just went ass-over-teats
1587.	>and landed snoot-first in Minuette's
1588.	 
1589.	>you are Minuette
1590.	>your showertime seduction is definitely not as planned
1591.	>you lift Moondancer out of your crotch as slowly as you can get away with, though
1592.	>stop fantasizing about hot mare-on-mare times, Minuette
1593.	>think about Granny Waltz
1594.	>think about her dentures
1595.	>...mostly better
1596.	>now where's the towels?
1597.	 
1598.	---
1599.	 
1600.	>you are Moondancer
1601.	>and you're still a little wet and woozy
1602.	>so you shake it off
1603.	 
1604.	---
1605.	 
1606.	>you are Minuette
1607.	>and you're just gotten another free shower
1608.	>sitting there watching Moondancer gyrate
1609.	>her eyes closed as strands of mane shed streams of water in all directions
1610.	>yes, shake those flanks Moonie...
1611.	 
1612.	---
1613.	 
1614.	>you are Moondancer
1615.	>and Minuette is panting
1616.	>Anon DID cool her off last night, right?
1617.	>Poor thing, leftover heat is horrible
1618.	>so you give her a big ol' wet hug
1619.	 
1620.	---
1621.	 
1622.	>you are Anon
1623.	>the water just came back on
1624.	>from the shrieking, the hot water must have run out again or something
1625.	>nothin' like a cloud-fed cold shower, right?
1626.	>oh, hey. There's some waffles in the pantry!
1627.	>you'll just make some of those too
1628.	 
1629.	>you are Anon
1630.	>and FINALLY you have two unicorns for breakfast
1631.	>no, ponies are not for meal
1632.	>but they used every towel in the bathroom and they're still damp
1633.	>luckily, both of them are also night-shift types
1634.	>and you didn't eat all the waffles
1635.	>it's a remarkably quiet breakfast
1636.	>Minuette is muted
1637.	>Moondancer is nursing a slight jawache from the tub-games
1638.	>it takes most of three cups of coffee to reanimate the ponies
1639.	>even then, there's a lot of mmm-hmming and such on Minuette's end
1640.	>still, you get a big hug from Minuette at the end of breakfast
1641.	>she looks like she needed someone to hold onto
1642.	>and Moondancer's very good about helping clean up breakfast
1643.	>though Minuette hugs her too, it's a lot more awkward than yesterday
1644.	>...you know, you'd have thought after a threesome it'd be the other way round
1645.	>and off Minuette goes, much more sedately than the magical creature from last night
1646.	>you scare up some aspirin for Moonie, though
1647.	>and a stack of already-Anon-read books
1648.	>the afternoon is for quiet time
1649.	>pony, sofa, Anon, familiar pages, companionship
1650.	>and more clothing than that apron
1651.	>about six chapters into "Pride and Preakness", the aspirin kicks in enough...
1652.	 
1653.	>you are Moondancer
1654.	>and poor Minuettte had another one of her weird-outs again, it seems
1655.	>they always happen around the end of a heat
1656.	>she'll act like she REALLY wants snuggle-hugs and such while it's going on
1657.	>but after the heat clears, it's always like she's embarrassed to be getting some mare-togetherness with friends
1658.	>which you share with Anon
1659.	>what's a "closet lesbian"?
1660.	 
1661.	---
1662.	 
1663.	>you are Anon
1664.	>and you sense you've been the beard
1665.	>not that Minuette didn't obviously enjoy the relief, but....
1666.	>...she might have been going for the mare, not the man
1667.	>you're not exactly sure how to give advice on mare-mare relationships, though
1668.	>time to dodge like the man you are
1669.	>"So, Moondancer...what's "I smell herdy" mean?"
1670.	>that got a blush out of Moondancer
1671.	 
1672.	>you are Anon
1673.	>and Anon is asking about...mare stuff
1674.	>stallions
1675.	>"She means you smell....er...."
1676.	>You are so not coming out and saying what it REALLY means.
1677.	>"...like a family pony. Yeah! Like you'd be good for..."
1678.	>...oh goodness you just said Minuette thought Anon was marriage material
1679.	>it's considerably more lewd than getting hitched to the same wagon
1680.	>IT MEANS SHE THINKS HE'S GOOD FOR SATISFYING A LOT OF MARES IN A ROW
1681.	>and then you remember what he did last night with his fingers
1682.	>and you blush and bury your face in the sofa
1683.	>except Anon happens to be on that cushion
1684.	 
1685.	---
1686.	 
1687.	>you are Anon
1688.	>there is a blushing bookhorse with her head in your crotch for totally non-sexual reasons and a horn poking your belly button
1689.	>awkward
1690.	>she comes up for air
1691.	>her face compliments her mane right now
1692.	>faces are not supposed to be red and purple
1693.	 
1694.	---
1695.	 
1696.	>you are Moondancer
1697.	>you have achieved a new level in spaghetti saddlebagging
1698.	>this would be by telling Anon he's horsemarriage material
1699.	>and one of your best friends just took him on a test ride
1700.	>you're just neglecting optional things while processing this
1701.	>like breathing
1702.	 
1703.	---
1704.	 
1705.	>you are Anon
1706.	>you are also confused
1707.	>Minuette has the hots for Moondancer, who thinks she's got the hots for YOU?
1708.	>Moondancer allows you a thoughtful period when panic, embarassment and holding your breath combine to make your lap a fainting couch
1709.	>fortunately, this also means she stops holding her breath
1710.	>you wonder if there's a pony version of Xanax for mares like this, or if dramatic fainting fits are normal
1711.	>you find the reset button and reinitialize pone.exe
1712.	>again
1713.	 
1714.	---
1715.	 
1716.	>you are Moondancer
1717.	>what were you thinking about before-
1718.	>Anon skritches the ears
1719.	>...I'm sure it'll come to me later
1720.	>...it can't have been important if he's doing thiiiiis~
1721.	 
1722.	>you are Anon
1723.	>Moondancer is being a good pony (like she ever isn't at least trying)
1724.	>you have a decent book to peruse
1725.	>a belly is available to rub between pages (but not too much, she'd drop her book)
1726.	>just a nice lazy early afternoon until lun-
1727.	*KNOCKknockknockknock*
1728.	>-someone decides to make you get up
1729.	>Moondancer gets to hog the couch
1730.	>...you don't know this pony at the door
1731.	>She's purple, blue curly-maned
1732.	>scissor buttmark
1733.	>but Moondancer sure does
1734.	"MISS Moondancer, we have an issue!"
1735.	 
1736.	---
1737.	 
1738.	>you are Moondancer
1739.	>And did a ripe load of horseapples ever show up at Anon's door
1740.	>"Anon, t-this is Abigail Abridge."
1741.	>When it's time for new books to go in and old ones to be remanded to the back stacks, they're "Abridged".
1742.	>a-and if somepony screws up too badly, the last pony they see before they're unemployed is Abigail too.
1743.	"We have had an unfortunate....incident."
1744.	"The shelf holding the 129s gave way and the contents struck Miss Fortune."
1745.	>"It was only her second day on the job! Is she..."
1746.	"Almost the death of a thousand paper cuts. The doctors are working there hardest, but so many...*sniffles* so many boo-boos..."
1747.	>"I-Ill come in right awa-"
1748.	"No, we'll need you tomorrow morning. Tonight's an emergency reshelving, and with us down one pony already, it'll be nip and tuck without some help getting everything back into order."
1749.	>"I-I know someone who could help!"
1750.	>and you point a hoof at Anon
1751.	 
1752.	---
1753.	 
1754.	>You are Anon
1755.	>and you're apparently being volunteered for shelving duty
1756.	>actually, you figure you've got some advantages there
1757.	"You say this...is a book-lover?"
1758.	>you point at the stack you and Moondancer were going through
1759.	"One-fifty-nine, Mister Anon."
1760.	>your mind flashes back to college doing volunteer stuff for extra credit
1761.	>"Psychology...Will it-"
1762.	"Will it is, Mister Anon. A pleasant surprise, no wonder Miss Moondancer thinks fondly of you."
1763.	>you don't even remember a section labeled "Will" in the library
1764.	>then again, the 200's were a real surprise
1765.	 
1766.	>you are Moondancer
1767.	>and you very, very much want to keep an eye on Anon
1768.	>Miss AA isn't the First Assistant for nothing
1769.	>but if you do, she'll know
1770.	>it's like Mom Radar for library peons
1771.	>you'll just do something soothing
1772.	>like rearranging Anon's entire kitchen so you don't wear a groove in the floor pacing
1773.	 
1774.	---
1775.	 
1776.	>you are Anon
1777.	>and you feel ten years younger
1778.	>that's because the last time you did reshelving was ten years ago
1779.	>still, Abigail's not even giving you so much as a "hmph" while you work
1780.	>the end parts of the 120s collapsed and took the front end of the 130's with it
1781.	>fortunately, Canterlot's library system prints the Dewey Morning numbers right on the spine in ink
1782.	>and you're making sure each book has it's pages nice and flat and properly stacked with a pair of gloves on
1783.	>how the heck a pony library has proper archival gloves, you'll never know
1784.	>Dragon, size medium, heat resistant
1785.	>you spend hours triaging the pile
1786.	>shelvable, easily repairable, needs conserving
1787.	>Abigail finds the worst damaged ones like a vulture, plucking them out with cloth-covered teeth with a delicacy you couldn't believe
1788.	>then you handle the small things like glue daubs and humidifying pages while the regulars get the shelves mostly back in order
1789.	>by the time you're done, it's nearly midnight and the night crew is starting to droop
1790.	"Mister Anon! An excellent night's effort- I've been watching you, and it's clear we've missed a diamond in the rough."
1791.	>Well, you had been thinking about minoring in library sciences, but the courseload in History had been a killer...
1792.	"Please, come to my office."
1793.	>you find yourself following her tail as it weaves through the back stacks to a door, a rather sparkly emblem of AA's cutie mark in stained glass hung on the front
1794.	>it's definitely a working-mare's office
1795.	>a shelf of old books barely holding on to life
1796.	>a desk, mostly clear at the moment
1797.	>except for a modest pile of bits in a bag and a magicstone lamp
1798.	 
1799.	>you are Abigail Abridge
1800.	>and you've got Anon in your office
1801.	>late at night
1802.	>alone
1803.	>time to make a few offers
1804.	>"Mister Anon, your pay for doing a solid job with the reshelving today. You have earned it."
1805.	>honestly, you'd expected far less from a stallion living on his own and a reputation for clumsiness
1806.	>"Miss Fortune will be out for the week at least until the band-aids come off, so I'm in need of a few things. First, someone willing to do what you've been doing in the back stacks- reshelving books, minor repairs, and suchlike."
1807.	>Anon perks up at this
1808.	>"In the evenings."
1809.	>Moondancer is a young mare and certainly not to be distracted by stray stallions if she's to work in your library
1810.	>"Also, I'd like you to help with one other thing before you leave for the night."
1811.	 
1812.	---
1813.	 
1814.	>you are Anon
1815.	>and you've just been offered a job
1816.	>seriously
1817.	>you actually enjoyed doing all this tonight anyway
1818.	>peace, quiet, books, no crowds
1819.	>Abigail nuzzling your crotch
1820.	>WAT.
1821.	"Me."
1822.	 
1823.	---
1824.	>you are Abigail
1825.	>and clearly, Anon is no brute to books
1826.	>you require this in your stallions
1827.	>educated and with finesse
1828.	>and it's obvious to a well-read mare why Moondancer's heat wore off that fast when half your patrons smell more like a locker room than mare this month
1829.	>"To whit, you. My desk. Now. I assure you, I treat a stallion as well as I treat anything else in this library, including making it worth your troubles."
1830.	 
1831.	---
1832.	>you are Anon
1833.	>and this mare just casually wants you to mount her on her desk like something out of a porn story
1834.	>after offering you a job
1835.	>"You've known me for one day and you want me to-"
1836.	"Cover me, yes. You're Moondancer's cooler, aren't you?"
1837.	>"Actually, I'm a professional-"
1838.	"You're what?"
1839.	 
1840.	---
1841.	>you are Abigail
1842.	>and your assistant-assistant has a side job?
1843.	>as a frontmare?
1844.	>for a "hooman"?
1845.	>"So, you're a professional and Moondancer hasn't told me she's working on the side?"
1846.	>"Show me how professional you are and not only do you get the job, she gets to keep hers."
1847.	 
1848.	>you are Anon
1849.	>and Abridge is casually lifting her tail at you when she says "professional"
1850.	>walk out and Moondancer gets in trouble
1851.	>or give this nag the D
1852.	>plus, she just called you an amateur horsefucker
1853.	>you're the best horsefucker in Canterlot, dammit
1854.	>and Miss AA is going to need Anon-Anonymous meetings to get over her addiction to what she's gonna get for that crack
1855.	>you pick up the mare in a single swoop
1856.	>she barely has time to gasp before you've got her front legs on one side of the desk and her back side on the other
1857.	>one hand holds the tail up
1858.	>the other one spanks that naughty mare's ass like a bad filly
1859.	>"You don't threaten my friend." *SMACK!*
1860.	>"You don't put your nose in my crotch without asking first." *SMACK!*
1861.	>"You don't look down on Moondancer for taking care of me." *SMACK*
1862.	>"And I am a *SMACK* professional *SMACK* library worker! *SMACK*"
1863.	>she's squealing as you spank her ass into what has to be a warm, stinging pair of flanks
1864.	>but she isn't trying to kick you or anything
1865.	>you'd have expected that, but...
1866.	 
1867.	---
1868.	 
1869.	>you are Abigail
1870.	>and to your utter shock, you've just ended up marehandled onto your own desk
1871.	>Anon is spanking your plot with gusto
1872.	>between calling you a bad pony, your ass is tingling
1873.	>h-how did he know you get off on being called a bad pony and being spanked like a naughty filly?
1874.	>he IS a professional
1875.	>you've made a terrible mistake
1876.	>"I-!-OH! Anon! OWIE! Y-you're right! I-yi-yi-yi-I'm sorrrrrry! I'm a bad filly! P-please! I won't fire Moondancer! You're hi-yi-yi-yi-red! P-p-pleeeeease don't stop till I'm done!"
1877.	 
1878.	---
1879.	 
1880.	>you are Anon, and you've beaten Abigail's ass into submission for threatening Moondancer
1881.	"-don't stop!"
1882.	>holy shit, she's getting off on this
1883.	>your spanking slackens as your next smack changes to resting your hand on one wiggling flank
1884.	"P-please! You're so good...don't leave me like this!"
1885.	>there's wet streaks running down her hindlegs
1886.	>and she's crying
1887.	"I hah-haven't gotten a good spanking for years..."
1888.	 
1889.	>you are Abigail
1890.	>and your backside is burning like it'd been cropped
1891.	>"I-I'll pay your full fee for a night if you don't stop. More. I-I'm sorry for saying you weren't a professional. I-I've never been so wrong in my life."
1892.	 
1893.	---
1894.	 
1895.	>you are Anon
1896.	>and you've just discovered ponies are kinkier than you ever imagined
1897.	>...
1898.	>OK. Apology accepted.
1899.	>*WHAP!*
1900.	>right above one hock
1901.	>you systematically tenderize that mare's ass like a good steak
1902.	>including a few slightly gentler swats right under her tail
1903.	>she ends up biting down on the desk after the second one zaps her across the ponut, clenching her cheeks and leaving a trail of drops over the carpet
1904.	>you don't have to hold her tail up, it just won't come down
1905.	>you mix in the occasional touches with the spanking, fondling the red, swollen puffy parts as she squirts little gouts of arousal onto the tile floor
1906.	>one last slap across her marehood and the squirts turn into a stream...
1907.	 
1908.	---
1909.	 
1910.	>you are Abigail
1911.	>you're grunting into the desk
1912.	>which you're amazed you haven't bit through
1913.	>and the fire in your behind has turned into a glowing crescendo of pleasure
1914.	>and you push down and let the release find it's way all over the floor
1915.	>little stringy drips funneling down your legs to dangle off your hooves
1916.	>you haven't come that hard since...well, ever
1917.	>the fit passes, and you flop over the desk, panting and sweating like you'd galloped a mile
1918.	>Anon didn't even break a sweat
1919.	>and he uses your tail for a hand towel
1920.	>"T-third drawer. T-ake the whole bag, a-and let D-day Planner know when you're available for the d-day shift. T-tell Moondancer you did both your jobs v..."
1921.	>he's massaging your flanks
1922.	>f-fingers must be hooman magic
1923.	"...verrrah well."
1924.	>you melt into a senseless stupor
1925.	 
1926.	---
1927.	 
1928.	>you are Anon
1929.	>and your new boss is straddling her desk, soaked in her own cum from the tail down
1930.	>not to mention the floor
1931.	>you leave her to it, it's been a long night
1932.	>but you at least lock the door behind you
1933.	>professional courtesy and all
1934.	 
1935.	>you are Moondancer
1936.	>and you fell asleep on your feet again
1937.	>counting the prime numbers from 104,729 down
1938.	>it's a sensible way to keep calm
1939.	>the morning however dawns somewhat gloomily thanks to a nice layer of clouds
1940.	>it's enough to keep you snoozing
1941.	>at least until something tickles your ears
1942.	>it's Anon
1943.	>in bed
1944.	>snoring a bit
1945.	>but apparently unscathed
1946.	>he's been up all night, but he tucked you in before passing out
1947.	>such a gentlecolt
1948.	>you slide out of bed, get your hair up, gobble down a bowl of cereal (Cheery O's are best cereal, which Anon has clearly discovered) and carefully close the door on the way out
1949.	>an easy trot down to work
1950.	>the shelves look a bit off with the new wood, but everything's in place
1951.	>Abigail apparently took the day off sick
1952.	>when you walk by her office it smells like a hot barn
1953.	>poor mare must have caught something
1954.	>the morning gets spent productively, lunch is a quick feedbag from the grazery next door that leaves you a nice half-hour for doing what you like to
1955.	>that is, getting your snootful of paper and ink in the archival sections
1956.	>you're about three scrolls into the first envoy to the Ram Sages when you hear Anon
1957.	>he's talking to...Day Planner?
1958.	>about scheduling?
1959.	>...he got a job?
1960.	>At the library?
1961.	>...I work at the library.
1962.	>With Anon!
1963.	>*CLAP*
1964.	"SSSSSHHHHH!"
1965.	>...patrons hate it when you bang your hooves together with glee
1966.	>dome of silence time
1967.	>*flash*
1968.	>,,,a celebratory cookie is in order
1969.	>...after you put the scrolls back
1970.	>you prepare to nom the cookie with quiet delight whilst using a random book as cover
1971.	>you get through about a paragraph before you drop the book and do a victory dance
1972.	>possibly mistaken by some for a seizure
1973.	>a victorious seizure
1974.	>but quietly
1975.	 
1976.	>you are Anon
1977.	>and ponies are staring
1978.	>actually, Day Planner seems more than a little surprised but has you in for Miss Fortune's lost hours right now
1979.	>five hours a day
1980.	>twelve bits an hour
1981.	>five days a week
1982.	>and it's all take-home pay
1983.	>Moondancer normally works till five
1984.	>you're actually in an hour later and leave an hour sooner
1985.	>speaking of which, she should be around here somewhere-
1986.	>Holy shit
1987.	>she's trapped in a magical dome with some scrolls
1988.	>spasming wildly
1989.	>her mouth moves, but not a sound is coming out
1990.	>and the patrons are staring at her in horror
1991.	>you half expect to hear someone going "Klaatu Barata Nikto!" and pone-skellies to leap out of the violated earth as she convulses, a weird,ecstatic grin on her face
1992.	>all without a sound
1993.	>you wanted to talk to Moondancer?
1994.	>THERE IS ONLY ZUUL
1995.	>you charge like the predator you are and leap at the dome, fists swinging
1996.	>and it pops like a soap bubble
1997.	>noise rushes into the space
1998.	>she's laughing
1999.	>you're heading for the inevitable collision
2000.	>and then she finally realizes there's an incoming Anonymissle...
2001.	 
2002.	---
2003.	 
2004.	>you are a gleeful Moondancer in your mosh pit of Absolute Quiet
2005.	>eyes closed
2006.	>gettin' your groove on, oh yeah
2007.	>*POP!*
2008.	>your eyes open just in time to see Anon coming down like a ton of bricks
2009.	>three feet, two feet...
2010.	 
2011.	---
2012.	 
2013.	>you are Anon
2014.	>and believe it or not, you're walkin' on air
2015.	>OK, flopping like a beached fish in mid-air
2016.	>Moondancer is looking at you like an idiot
2017.	>that's OK, you -feel- like an idiot
2018.	>in fact, you've picked up the idiot ball and ran it in for a touchderp by the looks on everyone's faces
2019.	>"Um....hug?"
2020.	>strangely, this works
2021.	"What does he think he is, a pegasus?"
2022.	>that's the worst comment other than a few mutters
2023.	>you're still flopping
2024.	>Moondancer comes up close
2025.	>there is a chocolate chip cookie orbiting her horn
2026.	"Sooooo.....victory cookie?"
2027.	>you nod
2028.	>victory is awkward and sweet
2029.	 
2030.	---
2031.	 
2032.	>you are Moondancer
2033.	>Anon does not get the victory dance
2034.	>but you'll at least give him a cookie
2035.	 
2036.	>you are Anon
2037.	>and you are walking Moondancer back home from work
2038.	>you just told her that you "helped Abigail when she was feeling bad" and passed her a share of the bits
2039.	"Awww, no wonder you got the job!"
2040.	>you make a point of buying a "get well soon" card
2041.	>and remind yourself to draw a butt on it later
2042.	>Moonie gives you a hug when you get her to the door
2043.	>and sneaks in a nuzzle when you're standing back up
2044.	"Figures. The only unicorn that would nuzzle something that weird is a weirdo."
2045.	>and freezes like someone just dropped her in liquid nitrogen
2046.	"The goofus and the giant, a perfect fit."
2047.	>oh, you know THAT voice.
2048.	>standing there on the street are two perfect examples of Canterlot society
2049.	>unicorns
2050.	>pompous
2051.	>Canterloticus Assholious
2052.	>the asshole you know is Star Struck, whose talents seem to include following famous ponies around and being a dick to anyone else
2053.	>the golden-furred swine with a pearl on her flank next to him?
2054.	"Oh, Golden Pearl doesn't even BELIEVE they let her live here, never mind give her a license for exotic pets."
2055.	>There we go. Yellow and red make orange you going to fucking leave now?
2056.	>Moonie is twitching in place now.
2057.	>Sparking, even.
2058.	"Oh, look at her. Lighting up like she was still in diapers."
2059.	>They laugh. It's the laughter of every popular thing on two legs you wanted to run through a wood chipper in college.
2060.	>it's poison
2061.	>and it's bit on Moondancer, hard
2062.	>no more outside time
2063.	>you pick up your mare and stalk into the house, leaving a trail of grayish motes behind
2064.	"Ta-ta! Don't climb any skyscrapers in Manehatten, monkey-boy!"
2065.	>*SLAM*
2066.	>Moondancer's house is...dingy.
2067.	>a bit pungent
2068.	>possibly a good shroom factory from the mildew stains on the ceiling
2069.	>and full of old, long-condemned books from the library that she's adopted, like some kind of cat lady of books
2070.	>plus a shivering pony with her eyes screwed shut and tears dripping behind the glasses
2071.	>you just hug her neck- a wordless wail screeches out, like a squeezy toy from Helll
2072.	 
2073.	>you are Moondancer
2074.	>you're a nice pony
2075.	>sure, you live alone
2076.	>and your sister got the nice apartment in Manehattan when your parents died
2077.	>and the trust fund doesn't quite pay for all the things needed to fix up the place
2078.	>and yeah, it's kinda smelly
2079.	>but they don't have to rub your nose in it
2080.	>every. single. time.
2081.	>heck, you can't afford to be a mare-of-the-party like your rotten neighbors in their stupid fancy houses
2082.	>and with ponies like that, you wouldn't WANT to
2083.	>m-maybe you should swallow your pride and move into that tower
2084.	>just another hoof-out from friends and family
2085.	>it'd been such a good week...why'd it have to stop?
2086.	 
2087.	---
2088.	 
2089.	>you are Anon
2090.	>and Moondancer is sobbing a river down your back in literal anime-style eye fountains
2091.	>how the hell do ponies produce all this frickin liquid, are they made out of sponges and marshmallow?
2092.	>you push up the glasses and get them out of the Crymea River
2093.	>she's even managed to turn her eyebrows into a waterlogged mess
2094.	>you run your fingers along them, squeegeeing out the excess tears
2095.	>something about having your hands on her face turns down the water pressure
2096.	>so you keep doing it
2097.	>the faucet slows down to a trickle as you run your thumbs along her cheekbones
2098.	 
2099.	---
2100.	 
2101.	>you are Moondancer
2102.	>and you're ashamed of yourself
2103.	>but Anon's blurry hands are rubbing your face
2104.	>and it still hurts, but it's the emptied-out ache
2105.	>and a literal headache
2106.	>but the petting does make you feel better
2107.	>*hiccup*
2108.	>"S-Star Chaser and Golden Pearl hate me cause my house is a dump, and it's right between their big fancy places...a-and I'm not fancy! I don't walk around in gilded horseshoes or fancy dresses or have lots of bits and-"
2109.	>you may have started yelling towards the end of that, but Anon just shut you up
2110.	>with his mouth
2111.	>it's worth every bit in Canterlot and then some
2112.	>and you mash your muzzle into it for all it's worth
2113.	 
2114.	>you are Anon
2115.	>and you are rolling around on a dirty carpet making out with a unicorn
2116.	>who knows what the sopping wet back of your shirt is picking up right now
2117.	>the waterworks are still on low pressure
2118.	>but they're definitely not bitter
2119.	>just very, very needy
2120.	>that's OK, even if you end up banging teeth once or twice
2121.	>you'd take honest clumsy kissing over the fine art of bullshit smooching any day
2122.	>"I could always put them over my knee, Moonie."
2123.	"W-what?"
2124.	>"Abigail's at home with a burning booty, that's why she called out."
2125.	"Y-you..."
2126.	>"Spanked her naughty ass for saying something so rude about us that she needed to make an apology."
2127.	"But..."
2128.	>"Yep, right on the butt. Turned out she was sorry AND she liked it AND hired me to do some real work, too. I'm happy to see you, but that's actually thirty of your bits in my pocket."
2129.	"You...you..."
2130.	 
2131.	---
2132.	 
2133.	>you are Moondancer
2134.	>you are visualizing scary ol' Abigail kicking and screaming like a baby as Anon whaps her plot with a newspaper and a fatherly demeanor
2135.	>then Golden Pearl
2136.	>maybe Star Struck
2137.	>come to think of it, you'd probably enjoy chasing him off with a newspaper next time...
2138.	>"A-heh...ha...HA!"
2139.	>the laughter that follows is slightly hysterical but cathartic
2140.	 
2141.	---
2142.	 
2143.	>you are Golden Pearl
2144.	>the weirdo and her pet are sobbing, then howling with laughter
2145.	>it's leaking out the windows and soiling your ears
2146.	>why that pigsty is allowed to stay there by Royal decree, you have no bucking idea
2147.	>some centuries-old land laws
2148.	>you can't buck tradition, I suppose
2149.	>it was probably some house where Celestia dropped her hanky during the Discordian era
2150.	>maybe if it collapsed from shoddy upkeep, you'd finally be able to add that walk-in mansion closet after you bought the lot
2151.	>from the looks of things, you won't give it another season anyway
2152.	>or perhaps...
2153.	>"Dear Canterlot Health and Equine Services, I'm embarrassed to write you about a health hazard that's developed next to my home..."
2154.	>...you can hurry things along.
2155.	 
2156.	>you are Anon
2157.	>and your back is stuck to the floor
2158.	>as in "you had to wiggle out of your shirt to escape" stuck
2159.	>and there's a disturbing black stain where your cotton shirt + unicorn tears made contact with the floor
2160.	>you're not sure if it was the impromptu strip show, all the wiggling you just did, or the fact that the floor is apparently trying to eat your shirt that made her blush
2161.	 
2162.	---
2163.	 
2164.	>you are Moondancer
2165.	>and Anon suddenly just slithered out of his shirt and levered himself off the floor
2166.	>while holding you one-armed to his chest
2167.	>humans are....flexible
2168.	>rrrrowr.
2169.	>then you realize it's because your floor is -eating- his shirt
2170.	>...you meant to clean that
2171.	>..."also, unicorn tears are used in growing some kinds of exotic plants and fungi"
2172.	>thank you, Green Grass
2173.	>if by "exotic" you mean mildew
2174.	>and by "grow" you mean "turn Anon's shirt into a yucky black stain on the floor".
2175.	>awk-ward
2176.	 
2177.	---
2178.	 
2179.	>you are Anon
2180.	>topless
2181.	>although Moondancer is keeping that part warm nicely
2182.	>and that black patch on the floor looks like it's hungry
2183.	>you sidestep around it lest some animesque tentacle thing springs forth and does horrible things to your orifices
2184.	>out the door
2185.	>close the door
2186.	>kick a rock in front of the door
2187.	>just in case
2188.	>from a balcony next door, Golden Pearl is giving you a look and a nasty smirk
2189.	>you show your appreciation in the one finger salute of your people and head for home with Moondancer still under one arm
2190.	 
2191.	---
2192.	 
2193.	>you are Golden Pearl
2194.	>for a beast, he isn't bad looking once you stop trying to dress him like a real pony
2195.	>maybe you'll buy him once Moondancer's gone
2196.	>he'd make a nice closet decoration
2197.	 
2198.	---
2199.	 
2200.	>you are Anon
2201.	"Where are we going?"
2202.	>Oh, right. Unicorn under arm.
2203.	>you put the slightly confused looking Moondancer down
2204.	>"We're going to my apartment, we're coming back with bleach and possibly something flammable. Just in case."
2205.	"Hey!"
2206.	>"I'm just saying that in case Mildewzilla rises."
2207.	>into the apartment you go
2208.	 
2209.	>you are Anon
2210.	>a scion of the goddess Hygieia
2211.	>mop-spear in one hand, bucket holding bottles of bleach and soap in the other
2212.	>you walk to war with your unicorn companion
2213.	>she is armored for battle in your spare apron and menacing grime with a stout pushbroom
2214.	>it's pink checkered
2215.	>don't judge me, it was 75% off at Barnyard Bargains
2216.	>you move the stone sealing Moondancer's front door
2217.	>the stain thankfully hasn't grown eyes or tentacles or achieved self-awareness
2218.	>it has, however doubled in size and has eaten a noticeable groove from the flooring
2219.	>"In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
2220.	>you liberally soak the entire patch (and the surrounding floor for good measure with the spray bottle of bleach solution
2221.	>then step back as the fumes rise and waft through the window
2222.	>....why is Moondancer looking at you funny?
2223.	 
2224.	---
2225.	 
2226.	>you are Moondancer
2227.	>and Anon just sprayed sodium hypoclorite all over the mold patch
2228.	>...nothing's really happening
2229.	>"Um, Anon? Was that supposed to be a cleaning potion?"
2230.	 
2231.	---
2232.	 
2233.	>you are Anon
2234.	>potion what?
2235.	>"No, we let it soak a bit to kill that gunk, then scrub it off and wash the floor again with soap and water."
2236.	 
2237.	---
2238.	 
2239.	>you're still Moondancer
2240.	>and that sounds horribly inefficient
2241.	>and slow
2242.	>and seriously, Anon just overkilled on the reagent here
2243.	>waste not, want not, that stuff isn't cheap
2244.	>so you cast Eusol's Universal Solution
2245.	>the circle of black turns white under your spell
2246.	>green, noxious gases scourging the wood as the bleach boils under a dome of monochrome magic
2247.	>you take a sprinkle of salt from the cupboard and toss it in
2248.	>the fumes settle to the ground harmlessly into a cloud of white crystals and cover the pitted surface
2249.	 
2250.	---
2251.	 
2252.	>you are Anon
2253.	>Moondancer just pulled the nuclear option of floor scrubbing
2254.	>of course, the floor is also a half-inch lower there
2255.	>horn wizards, no sense of right or wrong
2256.	 
2257.	---
2258.	 
2259.	>still Moondancer
2260.	>covered in sweat
2261.	>alchemy is fun, if pricy
2262.	 
2263.	>you are Anon
2264.	>Moondancer just WMD'd a patch of her floor
2265.	>it's covered in white
2266.	>and under the white, the wood is bleached white
2267.	>and she's half dead on her feet and stinking of sweat
2268.	>all for a patch of floor
2269.	>you look at the room
2270.	>then back at the pony
2271.	>you find a mostly clean tap and fill your bucket...
2272.	 
2273.	---
2274.	 
2275.	>you are Moondancer
2276.	>you're kinda zoned out at the moment
2277.	>something something equivalent exchange blah blah blah
2278.	>you blink
2279.	>the scenery changes to your front yard
2280.	*SPLOOSH*
2281.	>and you're soaking wet, but it's a nice kinda wet
2282.	>clears the head
2283.	>your horn's aching
2284.	>how much of that reagent WAS in that bottle?
2285.	>over 5%?
2286.	>you do some simple math
2287.	>more than twice the suggested reagent
2288.	>multiply by surface area
2289.	>...you just burned a day and a half's worth of thaumens in about five minutes finishing that spell
2290.	>*gurrrrrrrrrgle*
2291.	>that would explain the hypoglycemia, hornache, and
2292.	>*thump*
2293.	 
2294.	---
2295.	 
2296.	>you are Anon
2297.	>and the cold water didn't help much
2298.	>if anything, she looks even more dazed than before
2299.	"ssss~ugar pleass."
2300.	>well, OK
2301.	>you've got some hard candies in your pants pocket
2302.	>one gets popped into Moondancer's mouth
2303.	>faint sucking sounds are heard
2304.	 
2305.	---
2306.	 
2307.	>you are Moondancer
2308.	>and you're suffering a personal brownout at the moment
2309.	>there is a butterscotch candy in your mouth
2310.	>you hate the taste of butterscotches
2311.	>it dissolves a bit and a trickle of sucrose finds it's way down your throat
2312.	>you are rethinking your relationship with butterscotch in light of that
2313.	>you even manage to grind your teeth a little against it, letting the sweet dissolve faster
2314.	>"mour pess."
2315.	>a second disgustingly wonderful candy is lodged into the other side of your mouth
2316.	>you think you might be able to do two plus two if you worked at it, but licking and swallowing is the order of the day
2317.	 
2318.	---
2319.	 
2320.	>you are Golden Pearl
2321.	>the monkey is squatting on the grass next to the weirdo, who is clearly three sarsaparillas to the wind
2322.	>it sticks a candy in her mouth, then another
2323.	>Ick.
2324.	 
2325.	>you are Anon
2326.	>Moondancer is apparently stoned on magic or something
2327.	>first big flashy bang-bang
2328.	>then she's dopey and has the munchies
2329.	>no wonder most unicorns stick to levitating things if spellcasting is weed
2330.	"bufferscooch pls."
2331.	>you slide another one between her drooly lips
2332.	 
2333.	---
2334.	 
2335.	>you are Moondancer
2336.	>you are never letting Anon near spellcasting materials ever again
2337.	>once you can actually form a complete sentence without slurring, anyway
2338.	>there's a reason most ponies are sugar junkies
2339.	>magic needs fuel
2340.	>sugary stuff is good for lots of fuel
2341.	>not enough fuel and you burn fat, then the essential bits
2342.	>or you burn too much magic at once and it scrubs the blood out, coma time
2343.	>not that you don't enjoy a good hayburger
2344.	>but magical ponies need their high-glucose brain foods. Like cupcakes.
2345.	>you'd kick someone for a cupcake
2346.	>or a donut
2347.	>a dozen donuts
2348.	>that's brilliant, Dumbledancer.
2349.	>"hiwanna donutz, ahnon. Doh-nutssz."
2350.	 
2351.	---
2352.	 
2353.	>you are Anon
2354.	>you think your magic-stoner pony wants donuts
2355.	>fortunately, even an idiot knows where to go in Canterlot for those
2356.	>you lay Moondancer over your shoulders like a little lost lamb and hoist
2357.	>cause using her legs seems to be off the table
2358.	>close the door
2359.	>and walk
2360.	 
2361.	---
2362.	 
2363.	>you are Star Struck
2364.	>Anon has just stalked by you with Moondancer wrapped around his neck like some kind of scarf
2365.	>while she's wearing a pink, checkered apron
2366.	>he gives you a fulminating state
2367.	"Donut run."
2368.	>and walks off
2369.	 
2370.	---
2371.	 
2372.	>you are Donut Joe
2373.	>heck, your name is synonymous with "round, deep-fried pastry goodness" the way everyone calls those nose tissues "Breezies".
2374.	>you add another notch the "species served today" tally as a big ol' biped (not to worry, the door's alicorn-sized for good reason) comes in with one of your regulars
2375.	>nice filly, studies way too much
2376.	>then again, she's no Twilight Sparkle
2377.	>looks like she pulled another double-all-nighter or something
2378.	"Dooooohnutz."
2379.	>Yep. Another zompony from Celestia's School for Gifted Overdoingits.
2380.	 
2381.	>you are Moondancer
2382.	>Anon has carried you to the sacred fount of revival
2383.	>already, you feel the presence of the divine
2384.	>"One Eternal All-Nighter Special, comin' up!"
2385.	>you don't argue with Moon Princess when she names things
2386.	>blessed Donuthalla, shiny and chrome
2387.	>a bowl of black, caffeine-laden power is set before you
2388.	>marshmallows sprinkled upon it
2389.	>it is art
2390.	>it is magic
2391.	>it is...you can't quite get it
2392.	 
2393.	---
2394.	>you are Anon
2395.	>Moondancer's head is lying on the counter
2396.	>she's making feeble tongue motions towards the cuppa Joe left on the table
2397.	>you carefully hold her head
2398.	>it's spaghootie-soft
2399.	>and she's the limp noodle
2400.	>the tongue sorta flops it's way across the artistic fluff and laps up a coffee-laden marshmallow
2401.	>well, this definitely beats what you hold someone's head over normally when they're stoned like this
2402.	 
2403.	---
2404.	 
2405.	>you are Moondancer
2406.	>and you are lapping up coffee like a cat
2407.	>you only feel MOSTLY dead right now
2408.	>thankfully, Anon is keeping you from drowning in it
2409.	>most ponies think Donut Joe's talent is in making those O-so-wonderfuls
2410.	>finals-crunchers know he's got so much more
2411.	>the hornache crumbles under the relentless stimulant
2412.	>but you're still hollower than...
2413.	>Oh, sweet Celestia, he's brought the donuts!
2414.	>you reach for the plate of a dozen sweet salvations...
2415.	 
2416.	---
2417.	 
2418.	>you are Anon
2419.	>Moondancer briefly goes spazzy in your grip and faceplants in a chocolate creme with rainbow sprinkles
2420.	>munching sounds are heard
2421.	>most of the donut vanishes, the pastry icing gore smeared across her lips
2422.	"Nonnnnn? Cmre."
2423.	>you peer at the unicorn
2424.	"Cloooooosr!"
2425.	>OK...
2426.	 
2427.	---
2428.	 
2429.	>you are Moondancer
2430.	>you could kiss Anon for getting you here
2431.	>if he gets close enough
2432.	>Closer...
2433.	>you lunge!
2434.	 
2435.	---
2436.	 
2437.	>you are Anon
2438.	>there is chocolate-flavored horseslobber running down your ear
2439.	>Moondancer is flopped off the stool
2440.	>hoof goes up
2441.	>"Gimme donoots!"
2442.	>you grab a cider cake one and lower it to the waiting maw
2443.	>*snarfslobbergobble*
2444.	>wow, she really IS eating like a horse
2445.	 
2446.	>you are Anon
2447.	>by donut number four, Moondancer has clawed her way up to resting her head on the stool
2448.	>Donut Joe isn't even fazed by the show
2449.	"You should have seen her during senior crunch."
2450.	>and he noses over a stack of napkins
2451.	>you hold a caramel cheesecake concoction over the beast at counter level
2452.	>*SNAP*
2453.	>only a thin rind remains crumbling at your fingers
2454.	>you eat it
2455.	>waste not, want not
2456.	>besides, they're god-tier donuts
2457.	>"So....can you get me another two plates and the dirt on this mad donut-devouring pony?"
2458.	>Joe chuckles as Moondancer makes a plaintive noise at the words "plate" and "donut"
2459.	"Sure, lemme tell you a good one!"
2460.	...
2461.	"I had every donut on the shelf rolling that Trixie out of here and down the street. By the time they'd stop going, she swore she'd never trust anything round again!"
2462.	>Moondancer's junior Group Animation project apparently had a few kinks in it
2463.	"The worst part was this one poor unicorn. Head to toe in cheese quesadillas from the school cafeteria. Carried her up the bell tower and nested there for two days until they finally went stale enough to get her out!"
2464.	 
2465.	---
2466.	 
2467.	>you are Moondancer
2468.	>and you shall not allow your work to be defamed!
2469.	"Hey! I still got a B on that "Fast Food" spell for creativity! And I paid for all the donuts..."
2470.	>they've left a jelly stick unguarded
2471.	>*snarf*
2472.	>only a thin purple smear remains
2473.	"So, who was that unicorn anyway?"
2474.	>"Um....I'm not allowed to say. Still. Ever. Anon."
2475.	>Twilight would turn you into an orange if you did.
2476.	>you focus
2477.	>draw
2478.	>the chocolate-double-dipped Prench cruller is snatched from Anon's grasp and split in two
2479.	>the door jingles cheerfully as a herd's worth of ponies start to stream in
2480.	"Whoops! Evening rush is on. You two need anything else, just holler!"
2481.	 
2482.	>you are Anon
2483.	>you've just finished splitting a few plates of donuts
2484.	>by which you mean Moondancer ate most of them and you managed to save a few
2485.	>in your belly
2486.	>you can understand where the pudge comes from under that sweater of hers
2487.	>still, it's as relaxed as you've seen Moondancer in a crowded spot
2488.	>she doesn't give a fuck
2489.	>you could probably shake another donut's worth of crumbs out of her clothing
2490.	>you think you got most of the choco-slobber off, but she's got bits of icing and sprinkles in her fur
2491.	>the next time Moonie's gonna do magic to it, you're stocking up on junk food first
2492.	"You know, I only got that spell to -really- work well on one thing."
2493.	"Canned pasta."
2494.	>"..."
2495.	"Yeah! Anything less cooked tended to get a mind of it's own and attack random passerby."
2496.	>you look at the now half-empty shelves and imagine them rolling off and attacking ponies
2497.	>"Attack of the Killer Donut-Os" doesn't quite sound as good as tomatoes
2498.	 
2499.	>you are Moondancer
2500.	>and you've paid the power bill
2501.	>by which you mean you snapped up every donut in each
2502.	>Doh!
2503.	>you're paying for Anon's tab tonight
2504.	>and you kiss him on the cheek for good measure
2505.	>"I hear you're supposed to tip the delivery pony."
2506.	>Anon looks at you and grins
2507.	"Just the tip?"
2508.	>He gets another kiss for that.
2509.	>"I tip generously!"
2510.	>you are Anon, and she totally didn't get that one. Ponies...
2511.	>you make your way out into the sunset, leaving only crumbs and dribbles behind
2512.	>he's got his hand on your sweater the whole way back to the house
2513.	>and it's magic
2514.	>the kind Twilight taught you about
2515.	>this is grade-A, 100% friendship
2516.	>with some extra credit thrown in
2517.	>and you love extra credit
2518.	>you l~
2519.	>your heart goes pitter-pat and thumpity-thump
2520.	 
2521.	---
2522.	 
2523.	>you are Anon
2524.	>and you've got your hand on Moondancer
2525.	>just seems natural
2526.	>walking down the street in the slowly darkening skies
2527.	>she's good pone
2528.	>you're almost to the house
2529.	>and you close your eyes
2530.	>just as you stop
2531.	>something electric sizzles in the air, thunder and lightning without a sound goes off in your head
2532.	>and you look down at Moondancer
2533.	>she's literally got hearts in her eyes
2534.	>like, someone replaced her pupils with Valentine's Day decorations
2535.	>and they're bubbling off her like some kind of lovey-dovey champagne
2536.	 
2537.	---
2538.	 
2539.	>you are Star Struck
2540.	>and most people think you got your cutie mark for following every famous flank in Canterlot
2541.	>and boy, do you write up some juicy stuff on each and every one of them
2542.	>...with a little help from your special talent
2543.	>it's not quite love magic, and it's not quite want-it-need-it
2544.	>but you sure as Shining Armor shields cities get ponies blind head-over-hock stupid for each other
2545.	>maybe you can get your annoying neighbor to do something -really- stupid now that she's got a target for your magic to stick to
2546.	>flufflefeathers, it doesn't apparently work on monkeys!
2547.	>...worked on HER, though. Good enough
2548.	>not like she'll ever figure it out...
2549.	 
2550.	>you are Anon
2551.	>and Moondancer has gone full Pepe Le Pew on you
2552.	>and you might be able to surgically separate her from your leg, but you doubt it
2553.	>in fact, she's trying to climb you at the moment
2554.	>she scrabbles her way up your pants
2555.	>and you take the brief moment to pick the pony up and hold her at arm's length
2556.	>she's making kissy faces
2557.	>you look around
2558.	>the only one looking at you is...
2559.	>that fucker Star Struck from his balcony
2560.	>he's -sneering- at you
2561.	"Looks like the only one doing any climbing is your marefriend, lover boy!"
2562.	>into Moondancer's house you go with Moonie kicking and hollering terms of endearment under one arm
2563.	>seriously, "smoochie-wuggums"?
2564.	>and her horn glows
2565.	>and your pants are making a beeline for the floor
2566.	>you grab the end of her horn and pinch
2567.	>and the aura goes out like a snuffed candle
2568.	>you wiggle-walk your way to the creaky old cushion-pile she uses for a bed
2569.	>*pomf* goes the unicorn onto the bed
2570.	"Oh! Anon! How ~romantic~ you are!"
2571.	>she's trying to pose seductively
2572.	>this is Moondancer
2573.	>she looks more like she's trying to make a pillow angel
2574.	"You're going to make my fondest dream come true! Oh, marry me! We're going to have SO many babies and I'm going to be your first mare and-"
2575.	>it's even creepier with the way she's looking at you with those messed-up eyes
2576.	>I mean, you'd do Moonie again happily
2577.	>heck, you'd even call her your marefriend
2578.	>but not like this
2579.	>this is like date-rape material time here
2580.	>and with that, you're grabbed up into the air and you find your face mashed into hers
2581.	>and once again, everything just goes BOOM between your ears
2582.	 
2583.	---
2584.	 
2585.	>you are Moondancer
2586.	>and Anon is the most wonderful stallion in the world
2587.	>you're going to stop working, have his foals, wait on him hoof and mouth like the divine creature he is
2588.	>and you're going to smooch and snuggle him this instant!
2589.	>your horn yanks the only thing that matters into the air and propels it to your eager mouth
2590.	>and you drink in that sweet hooman's taste
2591.	 
2592.	 
2593.	>you are still Moondancer
2594.	>and you have your kissy-wissy husbando right where you want him
2595.	>on top of you
2596.	>where you're holding him
2597.	>and getting your tongue inside to swap some spit when
2598.	>something crackles inside your head
2599.	>smoke literally pops out your ears
2600.	>and a spark of -something- white-hot launches itself from your horn and streaks out the window
2601.	>and it takes that desperate hunger for Anon away
2602.	>...you're kinda struggle snuggling Anon
2603.	 
2604.	---
2605.	 
2606.	>you are Star Struck
2607.	>and you've just been star-struck
2608.	>as your little special spell came back to sender with interest
2609.	>blind-sided you right on the horn, a dozen times more powerful than when you sent it
2610.	>and the backlash converts itself to heat and light
2611.	>your bedroom briefly goes from dimly lit to full daylight
2612.	>and your curtains are on fire
2613.	>your bed is on fire
2614.	>OH DEAR CELESTIA YOUR TAIL IS ON FIRE
2615.	>and you run in a blind panic out of your house and down the block, leaving a trail of smouldering hair and terror
2616.	>meanwhile, someone starts ringing a fire alarm
2617.	>you're too busy diving into the fountain to put yourself out
2618.	 
2619.	---
2620.	 
2621.	>you are Anon
2622.	>and aside from the light show and the explosion next door, you're on top of Moondancer
2623.	>kissing
2624.	>but it doesn't feel wrong anymore
2625.	>and whatever was fucked up in her eyes is gone
2626.	>it's replaced by scared crying mare
2627.	>so you settle into the pillow pile and hold her
2628.	>and it'd be getting dark but someone lit the house next door on fire
2629.	>couldn't happen to a better stallion, you think
2630.	>all you could wish for now is some marshmallows
2631.	 
2632.	---
2633.	 
2634.	>you are Star Struck
2635.	>and the firepegasi are putting out your house
2636.	>the second story is utterly ruined
2637.	>"I-impossible...how could my spell go wrong? I've done it a thousand times! It's perfect! Perf-"
2638.	>your world goes pink and blue
2639.	>and you're turned around
2640.	>very fast
2641.	>it's the face of a pink, angry unicorn nose to nose with yours
2642.	"What. Did. You. DO?"
2643.	>and to your horror, that's when her wings snap out
2644.	>and the royal guards move in
2645.	 
2646.	>you are Anon
2647.	>and somepony is knocking on the door
2648.	>you are cuddling Moondancer
2649.	>this is us time
2650.	>and they won't stop knocking
2651.	>you rub her head between the ears one last time
2652.	>they flick as another rapping disturbs them
2653.	>right, no more of this shit
2654.	>you give her a quick I'm-sorry-gotta-get-up kiss and stand up
2655.	>nearly trip over your pants
2656.	>pull the pants up
2657.	>go and open the door
2658.	>It's some tall skinny pink pony
2659.	>you'd say more, but as soon as you open the door your eyes water and your nose clogs up
2660.	>fucking hell, you thought Equestrians were all hypoallergenic
2661.	"Excuse me, can I come in-"
2662.	>"No."
2663.	>*SLAM*
2664.	>it takes you a few minutes at the sink to get the horrid itching sensation to pass
2665.	>back to the important stuff
2666.	 
2667.	---
2668.	 
2669.	>you are Cadence, Princess of Love, ruler of the Crystal Empire, etc. etc.
2670.	>and you'd been with your Aunties for a visit when Star Struck did his thing
2671.	>you could feel that spell go wrong from halfway across the city, considering how much true love it takes to break it
2672.	>fortunately, the scroll he got it from went up in flames
2673.	>nopony else is going to learn that filthy magic
2674.	>and he's going to spend a long time in the Canterlot dungeons...talking
2675.	>you may have years of fixing the damage done to friendships, special someponies, and marriages
2676.	>...and when you went to go find the last victim, a giant green-faced biped opened the door, told you off, and slammed the door in your face
2677.	>he was crying, you better give him some space
2678.	>*sniffles*
2679.	>love getting twisted is so...so sad!
2680.	 
2681.	---
2682.	 
2683.	>you are Orthoclase, proud scion of the line of Feldspar, guardians of the Crystal Princess
2684.	>who is currently standing in front of a ratty old house and weeping for no discernable reason
2685.	>that's dam-in-making hormones for you
2686.	>"Come, m'lady. We shall fortify thee with chocolates."
2687.	"W-with pickles?"
2688.	>"If that be thine desire."
2689.	>At least this time she didn't want hot peppers
2690.	>and with that, the guards herd their charge (after a few hankies) back to Canterlot palace
2691.	 
2692.	>you are Moondancer
2693.	>and you've had a really hard day
2694.	>and night
2695.	>but Anon is here, and it's getting late
2696.	>and honestly, he's halfway on the floor while you cuddle
2697.	>"Anon? It's late, and you've had a really hard day...and I don't want you to sleep down here."
2698.	"Afraid the floor will get me?"
2699.	>you look at a black spot near your bed
2700.	>Actually, that's a good point.
2701.	>"It's been really, REALLY crazy today, and we've got work tomorrow, and maybe-"
2702.	>your mouth locks up
2703.	>you don't invite yourself over to a stallion's place, it's just not done!
2704.	>ponies tend to think you're trying to push your way into herding them
2705.	>how can you say it without saying it?
2706.	 
2707.	---
2708.	 
2709.	>you are Anon
2710.	>and Moondancer's looking flustered
2711.	>It's not like you mind having her over
2712.	>Bunny was a sure-fire insomnia cure, even without the wingjobs
2713.	>pony cuddles are very relaxing things
2714.	>"Rather get some snuggles in where we don't have to steal each other's blanket?"
2715.	 
2716.	---
2717.	 
2718.	>you are Moondancer
2719.	>Thank goodness for hooman sensibility
2720.	>you thought he might not get the hint
2721.	>instead, you're packing an overnighter in your saddlebag and walking to Anon's place
2722.	>teeth are brushed
2723.	>showers are had
2724.	>dinner is mostly skipped on account of overdonuting
2725.	>and sweet, sweet cuddle time is had
2726.	>and for once in the day, nothing goes wrong
2727.	>and you find Luna's domain with your chin using Anon's arm as a pillow
2728.	>Goodnight, Moon(dancer).
2729.	 
2730.	---
2731.	 
2732.	>you are Anon
2733.	>it's been a long day
2734.	>luckily for you, this is a good way to end it
2735.	>you slip into your dreams almost immediately
2736.	>Moondancer is in them
2737.	>casting spells
2738.	>eating donuts
2739.	>getting hit by a Instant Infatuation Incantation
2740.	>...where did that come from?
2741.	>a flicker, like a cloud over the moonlight
2742.	>and your slumber becomes more normal things
2743.	 
2744.	---
2745.	 
2746.	>you are Moondancer
2747.	>and you dream of the moon
2748.	>and the moon becomes an eye
2749.	>watching over as you banish the fears of the day
2750.	>subtly catalyzing the dissolution of a thousand little anxieties
2751.	>you won't remember tomorrow
2752.	>others will
2753.	 
2754.	>you are Anon and Moondancer
2755.	>it's early in the morning
2756.	>you're still fast asleep
2757.	>in fact, you're going to be sound asleep for another three hours and change
2758.	>so you won't notice the alicorn hovering by your window looking in
2759.	>she's a mite gravid and wobbly
2760.	>but she's smiling at the sight of you two wrapped around each other in a knot only love can tie
2761.	>a little yank on the sheets to keep them from falling off the bed
2762.	>and like a tubby pink sparrow, she flits back off into the morning sun
2763.	 
2764.	>you are Moondancer
2765.	>and you are awake for the most fundamental of reasons
2766.	>the call of nature
2767.	>Anon doesn't wanna let go
2768.	>you don't really want him to let go
2769.	>but you REALLY don't wanna let go
2770.	>so you lick his nose and escape to the potty
2771.	 
2772.	---
2773.	 
2774.	>you are Anon
2775.	>and you are hopped on your favorite sleeping aid, snuggles
2776.	>a single loose feather drifts in through the open window while you doze and make clutching motions at the warm pony-shaped space where your snuggle used to be
2777.	>it lands on your nose
2778.	>*twitch*
2779.	>WAAAAAAAAHCHOOOOOO!
2780.	>the thunderous blast sends the offending bit of hellish pink fluff back out into the open air from whence it came
2781.	>someone falls off their perch with a few choice words in the bathroom
2782.	 
2783.	---
2784.	 
2785.	>you are Moondancer
2786.	>SOMEONE just roared in the bedroom
2787.	>and you are currently hiding in a pile of toilet paper rolls, shivering
2788.	>....what, it sounded like a manticore went off in there!
2789.	>after a few minutes and getting a roll unstuck from your horn, you sheepishly peek out the bathroom door
2790.	>there's Anon
2791.	>his eyes are red and he's sniffling
2792.	>...he's not sick, is he?
2793.	 
2794.	---
2795.	 
2796.	>you are Anon, and Moondancer's talking-thinking again
2797.	"You're not sick, are you?"
2798.	>"Allergies. Yesterday, there was this pink extra-fluffy unicorn at your door with a crown on and it was horibble. *SNERK*"
2799.	"...you're sure she didn't have wings?"
2800.	>"What?"
2801.	"You just told a Princess to go away."
2802.	>"She wub making my nobe itchy and stubbe!"
2803.	>Head goes under the bathroom tap and you soak your face until the horrible effects start to fade again
2804.	>Moondancer is prancing in place
2805.	"You...you told Princess Cadence to go away! "
2806.	>she accidentally steps on your foot
2807.	 
2808.	---
2809.	 
2810.	>you are Moondancer
2811.	>and you're just so nervous you could trample someone
2812.	>which you did
2813.	>the panic whinnying is making funny echoes off the tile in here
2814.	>I mean, you KNOW Princess Cadence
2815.	>not know-KNOW her, but it's not like you didn't end up with a few study nights with Twilight when you were fillies
2816.	 
2817.	 
2818.	>you are still Moondancer
2819.	>and you're making little galloping circles in the bathroom with panicky horse noises
2820.	>because you don't just tell Princesses to go away
2821.	>OK, so you told a Princess to go away
2822.	>a few times
2823.	>OK, a lot of times
2824.	>you're not on the moon or anything
2825.	>you stop trying to paw a hole in the floor
2826.	>I mean, she was Twilight's foalsitter!
2827.	>and she's really nice and Twilight's brother is married to her and all that
2828.	>your breathing slows down
2829.	>you are not a silly pony
2830.	>you are an educated librarian
2831.	>you have left hoof marks all over Anon's pajamas
2832.	 
2833.	---
2834.	 
2835.	>you are Anon
2836.	>and while communing with the purifying glories of the tepid waters of get this devil shit out of my nostrils you think about last evening
2837.	>so that's what a Big Gu-er, Girl in Equestria looks like?
2838.	>you thought they were more like the Tallest or some shit
2839.	>you're gonna bruise a little from where Moonie managed to panic-squash your shins
2840.	>but given that Equestrians seem to be at least part marshmallow fluffy, you've done worse kicking the bed at night
2841.	>you grope for a towel
2842.	>it magically ends up in your hands
2843.	>...oh, right. Unicorns.
2844.	>It's not like the po-po or some Imperial Stormtrooper ponies have busted down the door and arrested you
2845.	>and you say as much
2846.	 
2847.	---
2848.	 
2849.	>you are Moondancer
2850.	>and apparently you have to explain to Anon that no, there are no white-armored guards from the Crystal Empire
2851.	>nor does Cadence shoot lightning from her hooves
2852.	>and she isn't married to some stallion named Palpatine
2853.	>...he's pulling your horn, isn't he?
2854.	"You will be converted to the Love Side of the Force..."
2855.	>given the hugs, you suppose you can forgive him for being the silly pony in the relationship
2856.	 
2857.	>you are Anon
2858.	>and this morning is your first day at work
2859.	>eleven to four, Moondancer's ten to five
2860.	>she does have seniority, after all
2861.	>cereal, orange juice, brush your teeth and wash your face
2862.	>it's an easy walk down to the library when you've got someone to talk to
2863.	>you're in early, but Day Planner has paperwork to fill out
2864.	>quills are definitely not ballpoint pens
2865.	>but you're done by the time for your shift is ready
2866.	>there's some differences from back home
2867.	>but the Morning Dewey system is like an old-fashioned Dewey Decimal system back home
2868.	>they still have a big section 92
2869.	>and the 110's take up as much space as the 500's
2870.	>and there's a 626 on "Magical Engineering" that's really popular given how Canterlot holds up
2871.	>fortunately, you've got a backroom job
2872.	>Miss Abridged was impressed with your hands for more applications than her ass
2873.	>so you're working next to a bunch of ponies
2874.	>Moondancer included
2875.	>she's actually made a lot of "book friends" back here
2876.	>Bookmark and Lucy Libro are earth ponies, Paste Pot's a unicorn, and Sweep's the library pegasus
2877.	>she's the one who makes sure the air is clean, precisely the right humidity, and keeps the atmosphere properly conditioned, right down to keeping a few clouds around to reduce direct sunlight in the back
2878.	>the whole room smells of buckram and old paste
2879.	>you spend most of the day talking about archival sleeves and plates with Paste Pot while you breathe life back into dry spines and crumbling bindings
2880.	>Bookmark and Lucy generally take care of the back-to-circulation carts
2881.	>Moondancer gets the archived books and scrolls
2882.	>you take a break around noon and it's sandwiches and soup all 'round in the breakroom
2883.	>Four o' clock comes by faster than you imagined, and you sign out with Day Planner and go browse the 25's
2884.	>unicorns use wood ash to make acid-free paper?
2885.	>interesting...
2886.	 
2887.	---
2888.	 
2889.	>you are Moondancer, and it's 5 o' clock
2890.	>there's an attractive stallion with his nose in a book...
2891.	 
2892.	>you are Anon
2893.	>and there's someone breathing on you
2894.	>no wait, that's Moondancer reading over your shoulder
2895.	>you sneak your fingers down, down...
2896.	*tickle*
2897.	"Wa-HAH!"
2898.	"SHHHHHH!"
2899.	>mission accomplished
2900.	>you walk out like a man as Moondancer slinks along behind with her ears down
2901.	>the second she's clear of the exit, you ruffle the offending flat bits into pointing up again
2902.	 
2903.	---
2904.	 
2905.	>you are Moondancer
2906.	>and you've just been mass-shushed
2907.	>Day Planner gave you the evil eye
2908.	>(but then she winked at Anon)
2909.	>he's ruffling your mane and reducing it to a muddled mess
2910.	>you hate him
2911.	>ok, you don't hate him
2912.	>but you'd steal all his donuts again
2913.	>and your mane is sticking to your sweater
2914.	>yay, static
2915.	 
2916.	---
2917.	 
2918.	>you are Anon
2919.	>Moondancer walks besides you, random strands of mane reaching out to try to stick to other ponies as you pass by
2920.	>this amuses the Anon
2921.	>why is the ground heading your way?
2922.	 
2923.	---
2924.	 
2925.	>you are Moondancer
2926.	>those are some nice shoes Anon was wearing
2927.	>it's a shame if someone tied the laces together
2928.	>but you're feeling merciful, so...
2929.	 
2930.	---
2931.	 
2932.	>you are Anon
2933.	>and you're floating in midair with your shoes tied together
2934.	>this is going to utterly ruin your "big strong guy" part of the relationship
2935.	>Moondancer leisurely walks on as you flail, mane askew but grinning
2936.	 
2937.	>you are Anon, destroyer of mane-dos
2938.	>you are also flying
2939.	>er, floating by force
2940.	>naturally, you take the opportunity to do an aerial backstroke as Moondancer tows you along
2941.	>from the look on Moondancer's face, she might find you a body of water to get a few laps in
2942.	 
2943.	---
2944.	 
2945.	>you are Moondancer
2946.	>your mane is a hydra's-nest
2947.	>there aren't enough hairpins in Canterlot to get it all back down in a bun
2948.	>so you force it (mostly) down and pin the mess to your sweater
2949.	>someone is sleeping on the couch tonight, and it won't be...
2950.	>Wait.
2951.	>It's his couch. And his apartment.
2952.	>but he's your stallion, right?
2953.	>UGH. STALLIONS.
2954.	 
2955.	---
2956.	 
2957.	>you are Anon
2958.	>still floating
2959.	>Moondancer pins down her mane (mostly) and moves on with an "UGH!"
2960.	>It doesn't matter what race, apparently you just don't mess with a lady-do unless your name is Steven, you're FABULOUS and a licensed stylist
2961.	>off she goes, nose up in the air in a huff
2962.	>you're still floating there
2963.	>not moving
2964.	>ponies are starting to stare
2965.	 
2966.	---
2967.	 
2968.	>you are Moondancer
2969.	>and now that you've salvaged some semblance of dignity, you shall be off to your hom-
2970.	>you walk half a block before you realize you left Anon
2971.	>*YOINK!*
2972.	 
2973.	---
2974.	 
2975.	>you are Anon
2976.	>you feel like a fish on the line as the unseen forces reel you in
2977.	>when you stop in front of Moondancer's horn, it'd have left skid marks if you'd been touching the ground
2978.	>she stares at you
2979.	>snorts
2980.	>and does a perfect Canterlot Walk with you air-planking a foot over her glowing noggin
2981.	>at least it's a relaxing trip to the apartment
2982.	 
2983.	---
2984.	 
2985.	>you are Moondancer
2986.	>and if Anon is going to act like a colt, he's going to be treated like one
2987.	>so you tow him the entire way home like the naughty child he was
2988.	>and he's not even ashamed of it!
2989.	>you drop him on his butt and turn to stomp off to your house
2990.	"Wait!"
2991.	 
2992.	>you are Anon
2993.	>and you have one shot at not having a pissy marefriend
2994.	>"I'll...I'll do your hair for you. Nicely."
2995.	>you hear your man card spontaneously combust and burn to ashes inside your head
2996.	 
2997.	---
2998.	 
2999.	>you are Moondancer
3000.	>Anon has just offered to do your hair
3001.	>...maaaaybe he's learned something from all this
3002.	>plus, Anon's fingers going through your mane, rubbing your scalp...
3003.	>brushies. BRUSHIES.
3004.	>"OK, Anon. But if this is an excuse to mess up my mane again? You're on the couch."
3005.	>Hah! That's how you put your hoof down.
3006.	>AND you got to use the couch threat.
3007.	>you didn't tell him it was because he'd have to hold you nice and close all night to fit on it
3008.	 
3009.	---
3010.	 
3011.	>you are Anon
3012.	>you are being "punished" by having a cute pony in your lap
3013.	>who you shall brush
3014.	>and probably braid her mane for good measure
3015.	>imokwiththis.jpg
3016.	>"You bring the brushes and I'll do it."
3017.	>time for a nice evening with Moonie
3018.	>mare is happy
3019.	>Anon is happy
3020.	>everybody's gonna win here
3021.	>it's the Equestrian Way
3022.	 
3023.	>you are Moondancer
3024.	>and you're going to do something daring when you get home
3025.	>you get inside
3026.	>grab your brushes
3027.	>and your toothbrush
3028.	>the "home" one
3029.	>you're going to put it in Anon's bathroom and...
3030.	>your Mom looks at you in the mirror above the sink
3031.	"You're going to take care of the house when I'm gone, my little crescent roll?"
3032.	>you flinch at the image
3033.	>and it's gone
3034.	>but she's still there in your head
3035.	>this is the family home
3036.	>you don't get to let go
3037.	>no matter how happy you might be somewhere else
3038.	>or if you afford to keep it going
3039.	>you're the eldest daughter
3040.	>it's your responsibility
3041.	>and for a moment, Canterlot feels like a ball and chain on your fetlock
3042.	>...and you put the toothbrush back in it's place
3043.	>M-maybe you'll just stay home like a good mare and read a book
3044.	>a lot of books
3045.	>you put your horn against the cool porcelain as your eyes start to water...
3046.	*KA-RACK!*
3047.	>...the sink breaks off of the wall and a geyser of water sprays
3048.	>all over you
3049.	>inside the wall between the bathroom and living room
3050.	>all over the floor
3051.	>running in a stream out your back door
3052.	>and you scream
3053.	>do you ever scream
3054.	 
3055.	---
3056.	 
3057.	>you are Golden Pearl
3058.	>and there's sweet music in the air
3059.	>and a Moondancer River
3060.	>that letter will be making it's way to it's destination in a day or two
3061.	>then they'll inspect her house
3062.	>condemn it
3063.	>and you'll be ready to snap up your new closet space at last
3064.	>maybe Star Struck's house for good measure now that he's out of the picture
3065.	>Ooh! Guest house. You've always wanted another one.
3066.	>you rear up and rub your forehooves together
3067.	>Yes, everything is going to be -perfect-.
3068.	 
3069.	---
3070.	 
3071.	>you are Anon
3072.	>it's been an hour
3073.	>why you no brushie brushie?
3074.	 
3075.	>you are Moondancer
3076.	>and you're bawling
3077.	>but somepony is comforting you
3078.	>actually, she smells kinda...
3079.	 
3080.	---
3081.	 
3082.	>you are Minuette
3083.	>and you were on your way to work when you passed by
3084.	>and flood and crying and where the heck is anyone else
3085.	>and you realized that she needed
3086.	>and you wanted
3087.	>and here you are
3088.	>you managed to get the water turned off
3089.	>well, the water in the house
3090.	>Moondancer's a mess
3091.	>her hair's all over the place
3092.	>and it's covered in sniffles and soaked and yuck
3093.	>so you lean against her and tell her it's going to be all right
3094.	>till she takes a step
3095.	>and you lean
3096.	>and she steps
3097.	>and you lean
3098.	>and she's walking
3099.	>and you take her back to your apartment
3100.	>and she's crying
3101.	>and you put her in the shower and coo at her and wash the yuck away
3102.	>and she's not crying too much
3103.	>and you tell work you had an emergency
3104.	>and she's dead on her hooves from crying
3105.	>and you get her a couple of aspirin for the sob-ache
3106.	>and you get her into bed
3107.	>and you hold her
3108.	>and it's everything you wanted
3109.	>except for the sobs
3110.	>but you'll make it better
3111.	>and you kiss it to make it better
3112.	>there's a lot of holding
3113.	>and a lot of kissing
3114.	>and you make wine from her tears
3115.	>the intoxicating salt
3116.	>the warmth as you cuddle
3117.	>she is sad and beautiful and everything with her hair laying about her in candy-colored strands
3118.	>and she is yours
3119.	>sometime, in the night the sad lets go and there's peace in your little apartment
3120.	>just the two of you and the taste on your tongue
3121.	>sleeping
3122.	>it's a strange way to your happy place
3123.	>but you've found it
3124.	 
3125.	---
3126.	 
3127.	>you are Anon
3128.	>and you're asleep on the couch
3129.	>fitful, sorry
3130.	>she got mad
3131.	>she didn't come back
3132.	>you fucked up
3133.	>you'll tell her sorry in the morning
3134.	>with enough flowers for brunch
3135.	>but tonight, you'll give her space
3136.	>and since no brushie
3137.	>couch it is
3138.	 
3139.	>you are Moondancer
3140.	>and you cried yourself to sleep on a friend's shoulder because your house basically asploded
3141.	>but she's really very cuddly
3142.	>and she's rubbing her hindleg down...there
3143.	>which is why you woke up
3144.	>she's tickling your teats
3145.	>you're still wearing your sweater from last night
3146.	>and you really need to get some water in and out right now
3147.	>Minuette refuses to let go until you levitate a pillow into the snuggle position
3148.	>while you park your rump, you think about last night
3149.	>your eyebrows make a nice V shape when you realize it's been all night and Anon's been-
3150.	>you leap off the porcelain thinking spot
3151.	>run back in to flush
3152.	>run out past a very sleepy Minuette
3153.	>and out the door
3154.	>down the stairs
3155.	>and down the street you go
3156.	 
3157.	---
3158.	 
3159.	>you are Minuette
3160.	>why the snuggles go away?
3161.	>UGH.
3162.	>you'll deal with it in a few hours
3163.	>night dancers are not morning ponies
3164.	>Zzzz...
3165.	>Hello, cute and sexy mare with the red and purple socks!
3166.	>"Mmrph...make them go all the way up Moonie..."
3167.	>it's probably better that she didn't actually hear that
3168.	 
3169.	---
3170.	 
3171.	>you are Anon
3172.	>on the couch
3173.	>it took a few hours but you're in a fitful slumber
3174.	>clutching a pillow
3175.	>it smells like her
3176.	>once you're tired enough, that was what you needed
3177.	>the pillow is gone though
3178.	>the smell is still there
3179.	>something tucked into your arms while you start to rouse
3180.	>warm, fuzzy something
3181.	>smells nice
3182.	>hugs
3183.	 
3184.	---
3185.	 
3186.	>you are Moondancer
3187.	>you stole back into Anon's apartment
3188.	>and there he is on the couch
3189.	>you were going to fluff that pillow
3190.	>he grabbed you instead
3191.	>nose against the back of your neck
3192.	>legs hanging off the side of the couch
3193.	>...not waking him up just yet
3194.	>today, you're going to be a total cuddle slut
3195.	>life owes you this after last night
3196.	 
3197.	>you are Abigail Abridged
3198.	>and you're getting off in the bath before work
3199.	>again
3200.	>lying on your back while the faucet blasts cool water over your aching crotch
3201.	>you'd call in hot, but that's not going to change things
3202.	>not going to get Anon's hands slapping your ass while his big thick stallion stick makes the need go away
3203.	>you've never had luck with mating
3204.	>for all the books you've read, you never could read a male right
3205.	>and Anon was the next chapter in "Abigail Can't Snag Stallions"
3206.	>the orgasm and cold water just gets the heat down to a dull throbbing
3207.	>but it's time for work
3208.	>deodorant, "plot patch" so ponies don't have to stare at you winking, mane up, ears down
3209.	>days like this you -wish- you were an old nag so you'd stop getting that springtime Celestia special
3210.	>but you aren't
3211.	>so it's off to work you go
3212.	 
3213.	>you are Moondancer
3214.	>you are couch pillow
3215.	>Anon is making happy noises in his sleep
3216.	>rubbing his face against your neck
3217.	>*poke*
3218.	>now he's rubbing something else against you
3219.	>b-but you're not in heat, what's making him do this?
3220.	>stallions aren't interested in...that with a mare who isn't ready!
3221.	>you're blushing enough to keep Anon warm, never mind the rest of you
3222.	>he's...cuddling your marebits
3223.	>you remember Anon telling you that humans will spoil you for stallions
3224.	>there's a pleasant tingle going on down there
3225.	>hand doing handsy things to your teats
3226.	>hand rubbing your belly under the sweater
3227.	 
3228.	---
3229.	 
3230.	>you are Anon
3231.	>dreaming happy dreams about mare molesting
3232.	>Moondancer making little squeals of delight
3233.	>it's so real you wonder if she'd be as happy with you awake
3234.	>most mares don't really seem to be interested if they're not in heat
3235.	>it's a dream, so why not enjoy it?
3236.	 
3237.	---
3238.	 
3239.	>you are Moondancer
3240.	>and Anon is clearly out of it
3241.	>but he must be dreaming about mares
3242.	>...he's doing that thing with his hand
3243.	>you can't help but shiver when he starts exploring
3244.	>it's not the crazy feeling you got when Anon was cooling you down, even when you were still presenting a little with Minuette
3245.	>it's...warm. Loving. Like he's bringing you into heat, just by touching you the right way.
3246.	>there's a trickle, not a gush
3247.	>enough to make his fingers slippery without ruining the couch
3248.	>you weren't thinking about mating for months, you thought
3249.	>stallions just can't get it up right without a receptive mare
3250.	>mares aren't thinking of stallions that way unless they're in heat
3251.	>humans apparently have...ha~aaaah
3252.	 
3253.	---
3254.	 
3255.	>you are Anon
3256.	>and this is an awesome wet dream
3257.	>your dick is probably diamonds
3258.	>and then your mind makes that imperceptible shift from half-sleep to half-awake
3259.	>and you aren't humping a pillow
3260.	>it's Moondancer
3261.	>making very happy noises while you stroke her ponycootch-ie coo
3262.	>so you dip a few fingers in
3263.	>it's not drenching your hand
3264.	>but it's plenty slippery enough
3265.	 
3266.	>you are still Anon
3267.	>and Moondancer is panting and sighing about being horsemolested
3268.	>so you say hello
3269.	>"Hello, Moonie."
3270.	"A-anon? I'm nnnnn...not in heat, but hhhhh...how are you so ready?"
3271.	>"Human mares don't go into heat, human stallions don't need to sniff a hot mare to do-"
3272.	>and you gently pinch her clit between two fingers
3273.	>"Stuff like this."
3274.	 
3275.	---
3276.	 
3277.	>you are Moondancer
3278.	>and you had no bucking idea that anyone would want you for mating-without-mating
3279.	>pony stallions don't get it up without smelling the right things
3280.	>and if it's too much, they're flaring before they stick it in and you've got to wait to try again
3281.	>and then it's like a minute at most
3282.	>or so you've read
3283.	>no stallion could be doing ~this~ to you
3284.	>...you're not letting a "sexy cuddler" like this away for the rest of your life
3285.	>and he does that thing with his fingers as they curl up and thrust-
3286.	 
3287.	---
3288.	 
3289.	>you are Anon
3290.	>and Moondancer just apparently came
3291.	>horn-sparks sprinkling the floor and drifting out the window like fireflies
3292.	>your hand is wet
3293.	>but it isn't any messier than jacking off into your own hand
3294.	>once the belly loosens a bit and her legs stop kicking air, you hear:
3295.	 
3296.	---
3297.	 
3298.	>you are Moondancer
3299.	>"Can we...cuddle like that more?"
3300.	>and there's something else poking your backside
3301.	>and inside
3302.	>Wow, he's actually mating with you outside of heat!
3303.	>You hold him, but it's not a panic-heat-the-meat-hug
3304.	>there's no frenzy to get that precious seed
3305.	>just the pleasant feeling of fullness as Anon presses again and again into your rear
3306.	>and there's another gentle ripple of joy
3307.	>and a third a few minutes later as he squeezes you like a doll and the warmth of his own release mixes with your own
3308.	>the room is filled with little magical motes that are caught on the breeze and drift out into the morning sky
3309.	>was that you?
3310.	 
3311.	---
3312.	 
3313.	>you are Anon
3314.	>and that was definitely something new
3315.	>Bunny wasn't ever up for sex-sex even if she'd get you off
3316.	>but Moondancer certainly seemed to like it
3317.	 
3318.	 
3319.	>you are Minuette
3320.	>and you're looking for Moondancer
3321.	>she isn't at her house
3322.	>and she ran out in a hurry
3323.	>maybe she's at Anon's place?
3324.	>you get to just outside the apartment building when a gust of wind blows a cloud of sparkles down from the skies
3325.	>they're like itty-bitty snowflakes
3326.	>and they melt on contact
3327.	>why do you feel so warm all of the sudden?
3328.	>it's not heat, Anon took care of that
3329.	>but all the sudden, a stallion sounds REALLY nice
3330.	>there's one right there in the middle of the street in a fancy top hat
3331.	>"R~rowr."
3332.	>that's not the part you're into right now
3333.	>nor are the eight other mares giving him the winker's eye
3334.	>aw, he's running away!
3335.	>that's OK. You're athletic.
3336.	>and with a bounce, you're off to the races in the Stallion Stakes
3337.	>a solid second behind that one mare
3338.	"Dear- Sweet Celestia! What's gotten into you?"
3339.	"Mmm...why aren't you in ME?", she says-
3340.	>and the two tear off nose-to-tail through the crowd
3341.	>like a couple or something
3342.	>you shake your head and slow down, the other mares blitzing past you after their goal
3343.	>you just tried to...jump a mare and her herd stallion?
3344.	>that's not nice
3345.	>but he'd feel so goooood
3346.	>No, that's not NICE.
3347.	>and the warm feeling in your nether regions dissolves like a wisp of cooling tea as you shake off whatever-it-was in confusion
3348.	 
3349.	---
3350.	 
3351.	>you are Drafty Dodger
3352.	>and your herdmate Merry Hail has got her tail up
3353.	>in the dead end alley she's ran you into
3354.	>backed into a corner
3355.	"Honnnney Dodger, I want you to buck m-"
3356.	>and she blinks
3357.	"I want- what?"
3358.	>you take this as a good time to use the wall as a handy leaning spot and konk out
3359.	 
3360.	---
3361.	 
3362.	>you are Anon
3363.	>and you're kissing your marefriend good morning
3364.	>it's like yesterday's wrongs never happened
3365.	"Noooonie, brushies?"
3366.	>she's giving you the cutie eyes and levitating a manebrush
3367.	>OK, maybe they happened a little
3368.	>and you curry out the tangles while she floats a coffee cup up to your lips for sips
3369.	>it's still a good morning
3370.	 
3371.	>you are Anon
3372.	>and Moondancer
3373.	>and you're off to work
3374.	>(after a little cleaning up)
3375.	>morning sex is good sex
3376.	>it's not like most pony couples would make the effort
3377.	>and you're strolling down the street
3378.	>you've got a bounce in your step
3379.	>you're being pulled into an alleyway by your shirt collar
3380.	>Lyra Heartstrings is pulling your coltfriend into an alleyway with that slightly demented grin of hers
3381.	>Oh, fuck.
3382.	>Oh, BUCK.
3383.	 
3384.	---
3385.	 
3386.	>you are Lyra Heartstrings, xenoarcheologist and musician
3387.	>that butt mark of yours is an interest both in the past and music, after all
3388.	>and when you heard the descriptions from Minuette about Moondancer's colt-toy, you knew what it was
3389.	>an ancient race that had enslaved the first ponies as beasts of burden, the Hooms!
3390.	>you'd find out his nefarious plans and save Equestria from
3391.	"Oh, hi! You must be Lyra."
3392.	>...he knows...
3393.	"LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!"
3394.	>Uh-oh. Moondancer's defending the Hoom like she's already enthralled! Time to-
3395.	*skkritchy-skritch*
3396.	>W-what is this...
3397.	>my ears...
3398.	 
3399.	---
3400.	 
3401.	>you are Anon
3402.	>and this is your favorite trick ever
3403.	>skritch the pony-ears
3404.	>see how long it takes them to snap out of it
3405.	"H~nnngh..."
3406.	>resistance is futile
3407.	"Anon, she isn't going to tell me why she just tried to drag you into an alley if you keep doing that!"
3408.	>luckily, you have two hands
3409.	 
3410.	---
3411.	 
3412.	>you are Moondancer and Lyra
3413.	>and you are being manhandled
3414.	>that is, a luxuriant feeling of scratchies behind your ears
3415.	>it fades, just enough to remember where you are
3416.	>in an alley, with Anon
3417.	 
3418.	---
3419.	 
3420.	>you are Anon
3421.	>you desire a croissant and hot chocolate before work
3422.	>so you turn the ear-love down a few notches
3423.	>"Breakfast? Lilac Roan's?"
3424.	 
3425.	---
3426.	 
3427.	>you are Lyra
3428.	>you have been effortlessly subdued by the Hoom
3429.	>who has just invited you to breakfast
3430.	>which, in your crusade you had forgotten about
3431.	>*gurgle*
3432.	>"Umm..."
3433.	>Moondancer gives you a baleful stare that changes that to "You will go to breakfast or you will become an experiment in orbital mechanics".
3434.	>"Yes?"
3435.	 
3436.	>you are Anon
3437.	>and you're heading to Lilac Roan's
3438.	>you could do this with your eyes closed
3439.	>just follow the smell of fresh, flaky pastries
3440.	>biscuits and mushroom gravy
3441.	>croissants
3442.	>and a baklava that must take tapping a beehive for the honey alone
3443.	>and the croissants are just out of the oven
3444.	>brushed with butter
3445.	>it's nice having some bits padding your pockets
3446.	>so there's a pile of best bready treat
3447.	>two unicorns
3448.	>who manage to pick up one at the same time
3449.	>fortunately, it shreds in two
3450.	>Moonie's chewing on hers like a wolf
3451.	>Lyra's keeping her mouth full and giving you the side-eye
3452.	>clearly, you must masterfully lead the conversation
3453.	>"Sooooo! I hear you and Moondancer are old friends. Welcome to Canterlot!"
3454.	 
3455.	---
3456.	 
3457.	>you are Lyra Heartstrings
3458.	>should you say something?
3459.	>will Moondancer launch you so hard you become your own constellation?
3460.	>he's a pony-enslaving minion of evil
3461.	>but do minions of evil buy you breakfast?
3462.	>do they give you...
3463.	>your tail twitches
3464.	>Bucking bothersome heat flashes
3465.	>you grab another croissant and chew slowly to buy time
3466.	>what would Agent Bon Bon do?
3467.	---
3468.	 
3469.	>you are Anon
3470.	>time to turn up things a notch
3471.	>"Moondancer's been a wonderful friend to me. Why, I wouldn't have a career as a professional cooler and library aide without her!"
3472.	>you duck as Lyra hacks out a sodden breadball
3473.	 
3474.	---
3475.	 
3476.	>you are Lyra
3477.	>and HE COVERS MARES FOR A LIVING?
3478.	>t-the Hooms...snu-snu-you into being their mare-mistresses?
3479.	>you choke on your breakfast and do your best Opalescence impression
3480.	>*HACK*
3481.	>it lands in a glass in the recently vacated table next door
3482.	>you meant to do that
3483.	>"A-heheheh...about that...thaaat's why I pulled you into the alley!"
3484.	"Books?"
3485.	>"N-no..."
3486.	>you sit up like the Hoom does and lean over to whisper in his ear
3487.	>"I'm sorta running hot today."
3488.	>*JAB*
3489.	>and that's Moondancer's hoof in your ribs
3490.	 
3491.	---
3492.	 
3493.	>you are Moondancer
3494.	>and Lyra's studying Anon like a pre-Minosian vase
3495.	>...annnnd her ears just went up all the way when Nonny said "cooler"
3496.	 
3497.	>you are still Moondancer
3498.	>and you've got one forehoof firmly in Lyra's ribs right now
3499.	>"Let me guess, Lyra."
3500.	>"Oh, I'm so shy about finding a stallion when I'm heating that when I saw Anon, I was just OVERCOME with the need to ask him!"
3501.	>you look at Anon
3502.	>"That's Lyra speak for "she'd like to study you harder than a seven course syllabus collection for Advanced Arcanodynamics III."
3503.	"Could I?"
3504.	>"I don't know, Lyra. Could you what? I'm his front and his marefriend."
3505.	"Could I do it...for science?"
3506.	>your eyebrows peak somewhere around the summit of Mt. Canterhorn
3507.	>"You released a ancient Pegasopian Horned Daemon into Mr. Hinny's third-year class the last time you said that."
3508.	"But-"
3509.	>"It ate their research papers and puked cuneiform all over the blackboard."
3510.	"Butttt-"
3511.	>"You think you can write about some weird mythological sex rituals using Anon as your source and get published. Again."
3512.	"He IS a weird mythological! He's a Hoom!"
3513.	>"Hooman, Lyra."
3514.	"Hoom, Hooman, whatever! He's-"
3515.	>"Two hundred bits an hour and if you get weird with him, no refunds. Anon, is she too weird?"
3516.	"Is she going to eat my hands?"
3517.	>What? EWW.
3518.	>"NO!"
3519.	"Well, alrighty then."
3520.	 
3521.	---
3522.	 
3523.	>you are Anon.
3524.	>the hot chocolate is delicious
3525.	>the Lyra is...interesting
3526.	>you think you'll spend some quality time picking her brains about legends while scratching behind her ears
3527.	>boops as needed to ensure she spills the mythical beans
3528.	>...why is Moondancer so hot for you to trot, anyway?
3529.	 
3530.	---
3531.	 
3532.	>you are Moondancer
3533.	>and you're not telling Anon how deep in the bucket you likely are
3534.	>that's not something you burden a stallion with if you love them, right?
3535.	>Lyra will talk Anon half to death, do something weird as usual, show's over, Anon has more pocket money and you can pay the plumber without giving anything away
3536.	>nothing can go wrong with this
3537.	>and after exchanging addresses, you and Anon are off to work for the day
3538.	 
3539.	>you are Anon
3540.	>and you kiss Moondancer goodbye after work
3541.	>she's saying something about Brothers Plumbing as she walks off
3542.	>but she's also got the advance from Lyra for the night in her saddlebags
3543.	>probably end up with three new books before she gets home
3544.	>shopping is girl therapy, right?
3545.	>then, you turn the corner off the stairs and there is a sea of books
3546.	>somewhere in the middle, there must be a pony, but you can't see them for the sea
3547.	>"Lyra?"
3548.	>and there's a hoof tapping your ass
3549.	>you totally didn't just jump in the air, that was just turning around politely
3550.	"Hi!"
3551.	>she's...rather strangely dressed
3552.	"Hoom-ans have a nudity taboo, right? When Minuette heard I was coming over, she told me you'd love seeing me formally dressed for the occasion!"
3553.	>it's probably a good thing your slacks have some slack in them
3554.	>stick to the plan...
3555.	>"Do come in. I've got cake."
3556.	>"Ooh! Cake!"
3557.	>it's going to be an -interesting- night
3558.	 
3559.	>you are Moondancer
3560.	>and there are two plumbers from the Crystal Empire turning your bits into fixed pipes
3561.	>which is appropriate, as they may very well date BACK to the Sombran Occupation
3562.	*KLONG* "Mama mia!"
3563.	>you'd never heard of these guys, but the 25% off flyer you found stuck in the door made an impression your bit bag couldn't resist
3564.	>and the pre-discount rate was good too
3565.	"OWOWOWOWOWOWOW."
3566.	>the green one's apparently found a turtle in the pipes, nose first
3567.	>you're thinking about Anon
3568.	>you'd rather be there
3569.	>but you'd also like to not have Crescent Estate become a water park
3570.	>Lyra's just strange
3571.	>Anon'll be fine
3572.	 
3573.	---
3574.	 
3575.	>you are Anon
3576.	"So, why do you only wear socks on your hind legs?"
3577.	"Can you tell me why ancient Hooms had a bridle on all their ponies? Was it some kind of fetish?"
3578.	"Did you come back after a thousand years? Equestria tends to have problems with that."
3579.	>you're being bombarded by questions by a pony in Equestian lingerie who thinks this is "making you comfortable"
3580.	>she sits up
3581.	>straight up
3582.	>good grief, she's got teat covers
3583.	>lacy ones
3584.	>right in your face, Anon
3585.	>and her tail keeps wagging and fanning hormonal mare up your nose
3586.	>think about something else
3587.	>Moondancer in socks comes to mind
3588.	>dammit, boner
3589.	 
3590.	>you are Lyra
3591.	>and you're learning so much about Hoom-ans
3592.	>you wonder if "Anon" is some kind of Hoom-an naming convention like gryphons and G-names
3593.	>"Hoom"- Anon.
3594.	>too bad there's only one of them and if they're anything like gryphons, mentioning it is a great way to learn about violent predator reactions
3595.	>I mean, he's already got this nudity taboo thing, the last thing you want are bite marks
3596.	>and you can tell he's distracted
3597.	>maybe he was raised to think of ponies as inferiors?
3598.	>no, he clearly treats Moondancer as an equal
3599.	>but he did the skritchy thing
3600.	>this requires more research!
3601.	 
3602.	---
3603.	 
3604.	>you are Anon
3605.	>and Lyra just won't stop
3606.	>that angle
3607.	>does she know she's wearing the equivalent of a stripper outfit?
3608.	>...did Minuette know when she gave it to her?
3609.	"...and if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to take some drawings of your anatomy"
3610.	>so help me if she asks for the pants to come off, I'm just going to believe I've been trapped in a clop story and do what the male leads are supposed to do...
3611.	 
3612.	---
3613.	 
3614.	>you are Moondancer
3615.	>and it's been a few hours, but not only is the busted pipe fixed
3616.	>they fixed a dozen other leaks
3617.	>and the clogged sink
3618.	>and the toilet flushes right for the first time in a decade
3619.	>what a mushroom cutie mark has to do with plumbing, you have no idea
3620.	>anyone who says unicorns cornered the magic market never met these two
3621.	"No extra charge, it's part of the package!"
3622.	>and you pay without a second thought (but have change left over)
3623.	"Okey-dokey!"
3624.	>says the red one as he hands you the receipt and a business card
3625.	>and they're off with their toolboxes balanced on their backs like it isn't even there
3626.	 
3627.	>you are Anon
3628.	>and yes, anatomy subject
3629.	>but Lyra's been remarkably professional about this
3630.	>given, you've ended up stretching and turning and twisting a bit, but it's not at all lewd
3631.	>and no clothing has been removed whatsoever
3632.	>in fact, she's done!
3633.	>"You didn't need anything else?"
3634.	"Oh, that was perfect! Minuette was nice enough to help me out with a lot of the things I thought would be outside your comfort zone."
3635.	>"Minuette-"
3636.	"Yep! She's actually really good with drawing things."
3637.	>and with that, Lyra gives you a hug, nabs the last bite of chocolate-mint spongecake off the plate, and walks out the door
3638.	>you can't help looking
3639.	>she's actually got everything covered up, though
3640.	"Bye! If anyone asks, I'm heading home to Bon-Bon and getting out of the heat!"
3641.	>you had no idea she had a coltfriend
3642.	>they're in for a happy surprise in that outfit
3643.	>speaking of happy surprises, she slipped a bag of coins in your pocket with the hug
3644.	>score!
3645.	 
3646.	---
3647.	 
3648.	>you are Moondancer
3649.	>and you're not sure what to expect when you get there
3650.	>Lyra -should- be done by now
3651.	>*knockity knock*
3652.	>and there's Anon
3653.	>and he sweeps you off your feet with a smooch
3654.	>that's a little bit more than a smooch
3655.	>hooooo wow that's a LOT more than a smooch
3656.	>he's got a big bump in his pants
3657.	>and he's nuzzling your neck
3658.	>and pulling off your sweater
3659.	>do Anons go into heat?
3660.	>on my back
3661.	>on the bed
3662.	>kisses going down my belly
3663.	>down some more
3664.	>he is -really happy to see me-
3665.	>and I'm really happy to see him
3666.	 
3667.	---
3668.	 
3669.	>you are Anon
3670.	>and you're laying in bed with Moondancer
3671.	>she's definitely feeling better
3672.	>and you're definitely not blue-balling it anymore
3673.	>one hand making little circles between her forelegs
3674.	>and that literal afterglow she makes after she comes
3675.	>little sparkles of night-light drifting through the air, enough to see outlines
3676.	 
3677.	---
3678.	 
3679.	>you are Moondancer
3680.	>and Anon just did it again
3681.	>so much want
3682.	>all for you
3683.	>it's intoxicating to be so wanted
3684.	>more so to be really loved
3685.	 
3686.	>you are Anon
3687.	>and it's Pillow Talk Time
3688.	>as Anon is being used as pillow
3689.	"So, you mean they don't go into heat?"
3690.	>"Nope. Once a, er, moon or so they get all crampy and grumpy though."
3691.	"And you mate -all the time-?"
3692.	>"Well, when we're horny."
3693.	"...you grow horns when it's time for foals?"
3694.	>"Figure of speech. "
3695.	"Is THAT why you're into unicorns?"
3696.	>"No, it's because you squeak when I kiss you on the horn."
3697.	"You've never kissed my- EEP! Do that some more..."
3698.	 
3699.	---
3700.	 
3701.	>you are Moondancer
3702.	>and Anon keeps the bed just the right temperature when you're next to him
3703.	>normally, you're always at least little chilly
3704.	>unless you're in heat
3705.	>the only chills you get with Anon are the kind you have when he kissed your horn
3706.	>or other spots
3707.	>they're the kind that make you feel even warmer afterwards
3708.	>you could chase off a wendigo herd feeling like that
3709.	>but you'd rather nibble on Anon's ear with just a little bit of teeth and giggle like a goof
3710.	>so you do
3711.	 
3712.	---
3713.	 
3714.	>you are Cadence, wrapping up your bi-monthly visit to Canterlot
3715.	>and you like to close your eyes to watch the city at night
3716.	>it's an ocean of lights behind your eyelids
3717.	>the bright sparks of young romance
3718.	>the roaring little flames that start little foals
3719.	>hearthfires of families, father, mother, children
3720.	>the banked embers of old mares and stallions
3721.	>pink twinkles dancing circles around each other in the skies and drifting along on clouds
3722.	>and there's a ruddy glow in the middle of the lot that isn't quite like the rest
3723.	>like you're going to let one of Twilight's friends be miserable for a little plumbing, right?
3724.	 
3725.	>you are Lyra
3726.	>you happen to be sitting in a dressage club
3727.	>Minuette's working but she'll be done in a few
3728.	>in the back
3729.	>too many frisky stallions watching and it's already way too warm in front
3730.	>and Bon-Bon said she'd meet you and Minuette for dessert later once she got a little business done
3731.	 
3732.	---
3733.	 
3734.	>you are Bon Bon
3735.	>Agent of SMILE
3736.	>but maybe you know me better as Sweetie Drops
3737.	>if you're reading this without clearance, the memory wipe will trigger *BWAP* now.
3738.	>and you're casing the subject's place while she's with her coltfriend
3739.	>you had to go off the books when Cadence became Empress
3740.	>but that never lasts long
3741.	>Equestria always needs it's protectors of Love and Laughter
3742.	>that means you
3743.	>...not a shred of evidence of forbidden desire spells anywhere in the place
3744.	>Agents Pipe and Plunger found nothing
3745.	>but two cases of infatuation magic and only one unicorn caught in such a small area
3746.	>there has to be an accomplice!
3747.	>you leap out the window into the dark back yard
3748.	>your dessert appointment will be topped with the bitter dark chocolate sauce of failure, today
3749.	>but Bon Bon has to be seen or questions you don't want asked happen...
3750.	 
3751.	>you are Bon Bon
3752.	>and you're about halfway through sundaes with your best friend in so many ways Lyra and her old Canterlot friend, Minuette.
3753.	>they're chatting
3754.	>you've got your mission on your mind, but you can't say anything about that NOW
3755.	"And good GRIEF I hate getting this heat"
3756.	>Heh. Haven't had that problem since the first go-round with that bugbear. Amazing what having a giant stinger poisoning your reproductive tract will do for that...
3757.	>Now, if the source of that magic wasn't stashed in the home, where could it be
3758.	"I know, right? Moondancer's friend helped ME with that. Boy, did he ever!"
3759.	>Wait, that's right. She's got a coltfriend named...
3760.	>"Anon!"
3761.	>you said that out loud, didn't you
3762.	"Yep! You've heard of him too, Bon Bon?"
3763.	>think fast, Lyra doesn't know that you know she got some research time in with a Hoom...
3764.	>"Well, yes! I hear they even know about him in the castle!"
3765.	"Aww, you ruined my surprise..."
3766.	"You mean you knew about him and Lemon Drops?"
3767.	>he's got someone in the castle staff?
3768.	>A race legendary for turning ponies into pets?
3769.	>and unknown uses of illicit love magic around a unicorn with a Hoom for a coltfriend?
3770.	>you need an in to Anon's place
3771.	"It's toooo bad you spent all your fun money on researching Anon, and not FUN with Anon, Lyrrrrra...."
3772.	>!
3773.	>you grin
3774.	>most ponies would take that as you being pervy right now
3775.	>but Lyra's your way in
3776.	>and after the Changeling Incident, you have enough spell triggers on her that any mind control will light up the room like Celestia on a flare bender
3777.	>if he's the culprit, it'll be obvious and....
3778.	>"How about I spend MY fun money on you having some fun, Lyra?"
3779.	>Minuette clearly approves of this message
3780.	"Oh, it is SO worth it Lyra! Anon will spoil you for stallions..."
3781.	>Heh. She doesn't know I already did...
3782.	"And we'll go out for brunch the next morning! I felt kinda guilty not inviting Moondancer for sundaes anyway..."
3783.	>"Perfect!"
3784.	 
3785.	>you are still Bon Bon, Agent of SMILE
3786.	>and having Moondancer under your nose will be perfect
3787.	>no matter how good she is, if she casts anything like that around Lyra, you'll know in an instant
3788.	>and Lyra will be one big Anon-detection system on hooves
3789.	>so you'll have both of them covered
3790.	>Directo-I mean Empress Cadence was only able to tell everyone to "keep an eye on these two"
3791.	>but you could easily figure out what needed to be done given what you knew
3792.	>the unicorn using infatuation spells
3793.	>Moondancer being his neighbor
3794.	>a weird biped from a race that makes pony slaves
3795.	>add it all together and something stinks
3796.	>and you've got the perfect setup to catch one or both of them in the act now
3797.	>you get through the rest of that hot fudge sundae with even more pleasure than usual
3798.	>and you'll put all that extra happy to use on Lyra tonight once you get her alone, in bed, snuggling and cuddling her brains out.
3799.	 
3800.	---
3801.	 
3802.	>it's the next day, and you're Anon
3803.	>at the library
3804.	>it's a really nice day
3805.	>but Canterlot Branch Library usually is, apparently
3806.	>and that's before adding Moonie into the equation
3807.	>lunch break hits, and you go looking for someone to share sandwiches with
3808.	>it has been determined they taste better when the original owner is your coltfriend/marefriend and then switch
3809.	>and there's Moondancer on the front steps, chatting with Lyra and some other earth pony-
3810.	 
3811.	---
3812.	 
3813.	>you are Moondancer
3814.	>and Bon Bon is seriously buttering you up
3815.	>"I mean, Lemon Drops apparently loved his work, and Minuette wouldn't stop talking about him long enough to finish her double strawberry swirl!"
3816.	>speaking of that strawberry color, you're blushing
3817.	>that's your coltfriend, after all
3818.	>and he's even better than that to you
3819.	"So I thought I'd make Lyra's vacation -really- good and hire Anon for the night!"
3820.	>Lyra's had a seriously flagging tail while she's here
3821.	>"He's the best in Canterlot!"
3822.	"Bu-but don't Hoomans have trouble with being naked?"
3823.	 
3824.	>you are Anon
3825.	>and you've found your marefriend discussing your comfort levels with nakkid times
3826.	>it's not like most ponies have problems with being naked
3827.	>you're more likely to get called lewd talking about saddles and lacy bridles here
3828.	>perfect stealth position for Lyra and Bon Bon so...
3829.	>"Not when I'm holding a sweet, brainy mare."
3830.	>Lyra spooks
3831.	>Bon Bon doesn't even flinch
3832.	>Moondancer gets a really nice flush going and shivers a little
3833.	>the good kind of shivers, but she knew you were coming
3834.	"Bon Bon wanted to get an appointment for Lyra as a present."
3835.	>That's....strangely sweet of her.
3836.	>time to be slightly pervy
3837.	>"So, you want me, and Lyra together all night so you can watc-"
3838.	"Ha! Hahahah! No! We're going to have a mare's night out, just me and Moondancer and Minuette! And breakfast afterwards for everybody!"
3839.	 
3840.	---
3841.	 
3842.	>you are Bon Bon
3843.	>he COULDN'T know what you have in mind
3844.	>...could he?
3845.	>you must be getting sloppy
3846.	 
3847.	---
3848.	 
3849.	>you are Moondancer
3850.	>and this sounds like a great next couple of days
3851.	>there's a really nice Waffles, Omlettes, and Stationary place downtown you've been dying to go to
3852.	>"Let me get your deposit down and I promise you Lyra, he's the best gentlestallion you'll ever-"
3853.	>*glomph*
3854.	>share a sandwich with, apparently
3855.	>peanut butter and jelly, om nom nom
3856.	>he's apparently good at remembering you forgot about lunch break, too
3857.	 
3858.	---
3859.	 
3860.	>you are Anon
3861.	>Moondancer has a mouthful of peanut butter (extra sticky, the way you like it)
3862.	>"Moondancer's never steered me wrong on a client or a friend. And lucky you-"
3863.	>*boop*
3864.	>"You get to be both tomorrow!"
3865.	>Bon Bon looks a bit cross at that last bit.
3866.	>Well, you DID just boop her marefriend, apparently.
3867.	>*boop*
3868.	>so you boop her too
3869.	 
3870.	---
3871.	 
3872.	>you are Bon Bon
3873.	>he....booped you!
3874.	>he booped Lyra!
3875.	>...if he's the evil love-slaver, he's beyond perfidious booping grown mares in public like that-
3876.	>stay cool, Bon Bon
3877.	>he's trying to get in your head-
3878.	>he's hugging Moondancer
3879.	>aww, they're so cute together-
3880.	>HEAD IN THE GAME!
3881.	 
3882.	>you are Anon
3883.	>and you're just going for a walk in the park with friends
3884.	>you and Moonie and Lyra and Bon Bon and Minuette
3885.	>poor Bon Bon seems to be left out of the "old friends catching up" bit, so you sidle up next to her
3886.	>she looks out of sorts, anyway
3887.	 
3888.	---
3889.	 
3890.	>you are Bon Bon
3891.	>and you're still a mite flustered by the wanton booping
3892.	>and Lyra's chatting up a storm about that mare who got her head stuck in a flask in school
3893.	>you're the mare on the side
3894.	>and here comes that...shameless booper
3895.	 
3896.	---
3897.	 
3898.	>you are Anon
3899.	>and you'd really like to talk with Bon Bon
3900.	>she's Lyra's other half, after all
3901.	>"While they're reliving third grade, I thought it'd be nice to get to know you better. I mean, you -are- Lyra's best friend and I don't want to do anything to hurt that."
3902.	>well, that threw her for a loop
3903.	>"Sooooo...what kinda cake does she like?"
3904.	 
3905.	---
3906.	 
3907.	>you are Moondancer
3908.	>and Bon Bon and Anon are talking like they're walking
3909.	>it's nice to know your friends are being good friends too
3910.	"And then Twilight accidentally hits the FLASK with the shrinking spell!"
3911.	>ooh, this is always the good part...
3912.	 
3913.	---
3914.	 
3915.	>you are Bon Bon and are being pumped for intel like a well handle
3916.	>and Anon has just been one of the most thoughtful stallions you've ever met
3917.	>Lyra's a little ditzy at times and prone to second-guessing
3918.	>and she likes getting her tail braided
3919.	>and she always gets sore hocks sitting all funny like that
3920.	>...wow, you coulda used this stallion in Polite Questioning Section (always mind your PQS when getting intel from a source!)
3921.	>he even managed to get you to tell him about that time you made her three-chocolate caramels for Lyra's birthday
3922.	>and you end up from there on Germane Katzen Pfotchen by the end of it
3923.	>he's more a chocolate licorice kind of stallion
3924.	>you like yours strong and salty
3925.	>and you don't even realize you're at the end of the path until you trip on the curb
3926.	>Lyra laughs, and it's enough to nearly cause a toothache at how sweet it is
3927.	>h-he's a nice stallion!
3928.	 
3929.	>you are still Bon Bon
3930.	>and there's a nose helping push you up off your near-faceplant
3931.	>it's Lyra, and it turns into a nuzzle
3932.	>you were just wobbly getting up, honest
3933.	"Being best wingpony, Bonnie?"
3934.	>and she sidles up real close as you walk out of the park
3935.	"I saw you checking out Anon while I talked with the girls..."
3936.	>you were totally NOT checking out Anon!
3937.	>well, not THAT way
3938.	"Someone's earned themselves a hoofrub when we get back to our room for being best pony."
3939.	>that's why it works with Lyra
3940.	>you're best for each other, often
3941.	>tonight it's her turn!
3942.	 
3943.	---
3944.	 
3945.	>you are Moondancer
3946.	>and your Anon is being an A-plus stallion
3947.	>so you bump up against his knee while he's watching Lyra and Bon Bon be adorable
3948.	>"Bon Bon's a nice mare, isn't she?"
3949.	"Well, she doesn't have you to cuddle at night, so she's not as -lucky- as somebody I know."
3950.	>that's another coltfriend point scored
3951.	>"You're definitely NOT on the couch tonight."
3952.	>ooh, HUG
3953.	>someone's whistling at you
3954.	>probably Minuette
3955.	>don't care, hugging
3956.	>done
3957.	>Anon's waving goodbye
3958.	>"See everybody tomorrow!"
3959.	>Anon rubs noses with you when you get back to your front walk
3960.	>and you go in singing something wordlessly happy and tidy up
3961.	>just because you feel good
3962.	>cobwebs are vanquished, plates are shiny
3963.	>maybe you've got enough in the budget now for a new bed
3964.	>big enough for two
3965.	>maybe big enough for two for a long, long time?
3966.	>outside, Golden Pearl closes her window as your somewhat off-key serenade increases in volume, but it's not like you'd notice
3967.	 
3968.	>You are Anon
3969.	>and you feel like you slept for a month straight
3970.	>which is good, considering tonight
3971.	>maybe that explains the frantic rapping on your door?
3972.	>HOLYSHITTENMINUTESTILLWORK
3973.	>PANTS
3974.	>NOT BOTH LEGS IN HALF OF PANTS
3975.	>PANTS AGAIN
3976.	>SHIRT
3977.	>SHOE-*SNAP*
3978.	>shit, the heel broke!
3979.	>BAREFOOT MONKEY STYLE
3980.	>OUT THE DOOR
3981.	"Anon! I came to- YEEEP!"
3982.	>SCOOP THE UNICORN
3983.	>DOWN THE STAIRS
3984.	>or in this case, leap down the flights and forget actual stairs
3985.	"Nonnnnnieeeeeeeeek!"
3986.	>CHARGE OUT THE DOOR
3987.	"Why, I never!"
3988.	>apologize hurriedly
3989.	>MAXIMUM JOB-SAVING VELOCITY
3990.	"MY CABBAGES!"
3991.	"My goodness!"
3992.	>nearslip on the marble library steps
3993.	>ACROBATIC TUMBLE
3994.	>Ok, SKID INTO FRONT DOOR ON FACE
3995.	"Mister Anon! Is that Moondancer on your back?"
3996.	>"She....she likes the ride..."
3997.	"Eheee....e-HEE, ehee..."
3998.	>"W-wasn't that fun, Moonie?"
3999.	*thud*
4000.	 
4001.	---
4002.	 
4003.	>you are Moondancer
4004.	>and you were grabbed by your big ol' monkey lover
4005.	>and took the two-minute tour
4006.	>through some poor pony's produce pile
4007.	>up the stairs, over a cartwheel, into the air
4008.	>and landing with all four hooves on Anon's back as he skidded into work
4009.	>that last part was a little much
4010.	>so you spend some quality time on the floor with Anon while your eyes stop swirling
4011.	>and levitate the sign-in sheet over
4012.	>pull his hand through the mail slot on the door
4013.	>slap it on the tally sheet
4014.	>with about ten seconds to spare
4015.	>Day Planner gets a little sore-hoofed when she's short-hoofed on the schedule
4016.	>...why isn't Anon's hand fitting back through the mail slot?
4017.	 
4018.	>you are Anon
4019.	>and you're hand seems to be jammed into something rather unyielding
4020.	>...oh, that's the library door
4021.	>...with your arm stuck in it
4022.	>think relaxing thoughts, Anon
4023.	>now that it isn't all tensed up expecting another collision, it squeezes back through without a problem
4024.	>channeling your inner cool cat, you go into the back room like nothing had happened
4025.	>Bookmark's staring at you
4026.	"Um...Anon? You kinda have skid marks on your muzzle."
4027.	>bathroom mirror
4028.	>sure enough, there's a wad of gum smeared down the bridge of your nose
4029.	>Ewww.
4030.	>ah well, it gives you a good excuse to wash up a little and peel the used gum off your face
4031.	>and looking only slightly trainwrecked, you step out of the stallion's stall and get to doing something mostly normal
4032.	"PASTE POT! I TOLD YOU TO STOP LEAVING YOUR CHEWING GUM ON THE BATHROOM SINK!"
4033.	>he at least has the grace to look embarassed about how it got there
4034.	>fortunately, soap smell is stronger than overchewed wintermint smell
4035.	>No-one will know the truth
4036.	>OK, nobody but Bookmark
4037.	>and Paste Pot
4038.	>and maybe that unicorn trying very hard not to laugh over there
4039.	>you don't know her, that Moon-loony
4040.	 
4041.	>you are Moondancer
4042.	>Anon is ridiculous
4043.	>seriously, like "Griffin getting a bathtub dumped on them and acting like nothing happened" ridiculous
4044.	>no shoes
4045.	>messed up shirt
4046.	>I'm such a cool stallion, you could use me for your icebox
4047.	>you can't look at him for more than two minutes without wanting to giggle
4048.	>but then it's four o clock and he's off to his other job
4049.	>not without a smooch on the cheek
4050.	>Lyra isn't gonna know what hit her
4051.	 
4052.	---
4053.	 
4054.	>you are Lyra Heartstrings
4055.	>and Bon Bon is trying to keep you from wearing a hole in the carpet
4056.	>or from reading "Basics for Bipeds" for the twentieth time
4057.	>I mean, what if he's hung like a minotaur?
4058.	>you don't want to spend the night impaled on something
4059.	>...you're not sure how something big would fit on a hoom
4060.	>maybe he keeps it down a pants leg?
4061.	>m-maybe that's why hooms wear pants?
4062.	>something wet finds it's way into your ear
4063.	>"YEEEP!"
4064.	>the Bon-Bon Wet Willy of Sanity
4065.	>it's going to be a long wait till six...
4066.	 
4067.	>you are still Lyra
4068.	>"Bonnnnnie? Can we go a little bit early? I'm sure Anon wouldn't mind."
4069.	>you're bringing chocolate, after all
4070.	>chocolate is the universal symbol of civilization
4071.	>and Bon Bon could end a war with those triple-dipped cordials
4072.	Actually I have, but that batch had enough tranquilizers to dope an Ursa Minor. They don't call me Sweetie DROPS for nothing.
4073.	>and hey, there's Anon galloping up the stairs
4074.	>you get a perfect view of his hindfeet as they flash up
4075.	>which you follow up to
4076.	>mmmm, hooms do have a nice butt when it's moving like that
4077.	>"YEEEEE!"
4078.	"Lyra, you're drooling at stallions again."
4079.	>*BLUSH*
4080.	>"Eh-heh...walk me upstairs?"
4081.	 
4082.	---
4083.	 
4084.	>you are Anon
4085.	>and you're literally running to catch up here
4086.	>dirty clothes in hamper, hamper in closet
4087.	>white carnation petals on the sheets
4088.	>open closet again and strip, cause you're wearing dirty clothes
4089.	>time for a quick shower and nice cloth-
4090.	*shocked horse noises*
4091.	>...I left the front door open, didn't I?
4092.	 
4093.	>you are Bon Bon
4094.	>and you just got to see the full moon inside a room
4095.	>well, it's actually Anon's ass
4096.	>you reflexively bump Lyra's flank
4097.	*clack*
4098.	>that would be her jaw no longer hanging down
4099.	>"We'll just.... waitinthekitchenwebroughtchocolateandeverything!"
4100.	>and you yank Lyra by the tail out the door and slap it shut with your hoof
4101.	>naked hooms definitely are a little exotic
4102.	>but he definitely had one part in place
4103.	>no sheath or anything, just hangin' out
4104.	"I'm going to get special snuggles from a mythical creature, Bon Bon!"
4105.	>time for drastic measures
4106.	>by which you mean you smooch her
4107.	>the kind of long smooches that can cause fainting in less sturdy ponies
4108.	>it's enough to make Lyra wobble-kneed and she's used to them
4109.	*click*
4110.	>and you're making out with Lyra while Anon is watching.
4111.	>Perfect.
4112.	 
4113.	---
4114.	 
4115.	>you are Anon
4116.	>and you grabbed a robe and came out to apologize
4117.	>"Hi, Bon Bonnnnoh I see you're occupied, gonna go take a shower and I'll be right out!"
4118.	>it's going to be a slightly colder one than usual
4119.	>having two mares clutching each other in the kitchen while frenching each other is about an 8 on the "things Anon likes happening as foreplay"
4120.	>you turn on the water and start scrubbing
4121.	 
4122.	---
4123.	 
4124.	>you are Bon Bon
4125.	>and maybe you didn't realize how heated up Lyra was
4126.	>considering she's on top of you grinding her needy crotch against yours
4127.	>and you really can't convince yourself to stop it
4128.	>especially when s-s-s-shhhhohmyCelestiaplaysmynipplesandclitlikeherlyre
4129.	 
4130.	---
4131.	 
4132.	>you are Anon
4133.	>there's two mares fucking, moaning, and probably making a sticky mess on your kitchen
4134.	>you're gonna wait this one out
4135.	 
4136.	>you are Moondancer
4137.	>and you're about to join Bon Bon for coffee once she drops Lyra off for the evening
4138.	>the lights are on at Anon's
4139.	>they must still be there!
4140.	>you get to the front door
4141.	>there's a...lot of moaning and stuff going on near the front door
4142.	>wow, was Lyra that needy
4143.	"Bon Bonnnn...."
4144.	>you push the door open verrry quietly, just a bit
4145.	>Lyra's...
4146.	>...you should take notes.
4147.	 
4148.	---
4149.	 
4150.	>you are Lyra Heartstrings
4151.	>and Bon Bon has been all over you about this
4152.	>you detect just a hint of jealousy after that last smooch
4153.	>so you're going to make sure she knows exactly how much she's wanted
4154.	"Ohmycelestiahnnnn"
4155.	>you think you saw little hearts flying out from under her tail when you played the Candymare's Concerto on Bon Bon's bonnie bits
4156.	"You...Anon...go...don'tstopwaitgostartonAnonIpromisewellusethehotfudgewhenyougethomeAH!"
4157.	>and she staggers away from your marely molestations and plunges through the front door
4158.	>someone cries out in surprise, there's a brief crash, and the door shuts
4159.	"I'm OK!"
4160.	 
4161.	---
4162.	 
4163.	>you are Moondancer
4164.	>and Bon Bon just charged out Anon's front door and tripped over you
4165.	>given, you were sorta eavesdropping
4166.	>and now you're slightly stomped and eww, sticky
4167.	>it's on your horn and fur and everything!
4168.	>so you float a hanky out of your saddlebags to clean up a bit
4169.	>while you're cleaning the maregunk off, you don't even notice the little sparkly bits drifting off your horn and landing on Bon Bon's panting floor-pancake
4170.	 
4171.	---
4172.	 
4173.	>you are Bon Bon
4174.	>and you lie there waiting for the burning between your legs to settle down
4175.	>but it doesn't
4176.	>it spreads
4177.	>like a pleasant fever
4178.	>and you look up
4179.	>why, there's Moondancer and she's looking very nice tonight
4180.	 
4181.	---
4182.	 
4183.	>you are Moondancer, and you just managed to get the last of that mess off
4184.	>and Bon Bon is grabbing you
4185.	>she's looking into your eyes
4186.	>she's hugging you
4187.	"Help....me..."
4188.	>she's burning up!
4189.	>you help her down the stairs
4190.	>your house isn't too far away and she can at least rest, the poor thing
4191.	 
4192.	>you are Lyra Heartstrings
4193.	>and you've found that interesting place between heated, anxious, and excited
4194.	>you're alone
4195.	>in an apartment
4196.	>with Anon
4197.	>"Mister Anon?"
4198.	>you open the door, and there he is
4199.	>stretched out on the bed, reading a book
4200.	 
4201.	---
4202.	 
4203.	>you are Anon
4204.	>and you're going to enjoy a few chapters while the thrashing and moaning dies down
4205.	"Mister Anon?"
4206.	>whoops, didn't think it'd be over that fast
4207.	>you tuck the book under the bed
4208.	>"Lyra! You and Bon Bon must have been pretty excited to drop by-yi-yi-yi!"
4209.	>that would be on account of the blue streak leaping through the air and knocking you flat on the mattress
4210.	>then standing over you, just...looking you over from top to bottom
4211.	>licking her lips
4212.	"I don't know if I should study you or mount you."
4213.	>well, that just answered one question you had about mare-mare relationships
4214.	>they've got tops and bottoms
4215.	>and you're playing the role of "bottom" at the moment
4216.	 
4217.	---
4218.	 
4219.	>you are Moondancer
4220.	>and you've gotten Bon Bon home
4221.	>she's getting the cushions tonight
4222.	>and a big glass of water, too
4223.	>which you float over to the sweaty mare
4224.	>she says something you can't quite hear
4225.	>so you get closer
4226.	>and the glass goes crashing to the floor when she grabs you
4227.	*SNOOOOORT*
4228.	>and just buries her nose in your fur and takes a big breath
4229.	"A-ahhhhh...."
4230.	>and her eyes cross like she just accidentally swallowed a salt lick
4231.	>and you end up with a serious case of ongoing non-consensual snuggling
4232.	>Bon Bon can't get enough of hugging you, nuzzling your throat, cuddling you until there's cushions scattered across the entire room
4233.	>it's like she switched from breathing air to inhaling unicorn
4234.	 
4235.	---
4236.	 
4237.	>you are Bon Bon
4238.	>and you have to...have to have this mare
4239.	>it takes every ounce of your well-trained willpower to resist doing to her what you'd do to Lyra
4240.	>but that doesn't stop you from criminal acts of cuddling
4241.	>dimly, you realize you're doing something terrible
4242.	>but the need is too strong
4243.	>too....strong...